Thursday, September 30, 2004
 
Magic 8 Ball says
Yes, Ralph your 8 ball called it. Big John won.

Will Kerry win the debate tonight?Magic 8-Ball sez: "It is certain."

There, now, you don't have to watch Bill O'Lielly.



 
Nelly - My Place
If you are dating... anyone you understand this. Do your thing, it is your world I am just passing through.
I know I said some fucked up things to you before
But girl u know I didnt mean it


 
Quote of the day...
From comments on Eschaton... To quote an old country music song "That just about says it don't it." Here is my advise to freepers... go to Protein Wisdom and hang out with your friends.

Original Post
It's pretty sad when unhappy mothers of dead soldiers can't get a mention on TV. On a related note, I will repost my earlier suggestion for a debate question:
Mr. Bush, just how many widows have you hugged?


Freeper comment
How many widows has Kerry hugged?


Rebuttal from Atrioite
Christ on a cracker man, he married one!


 
Get your shots ready....
For the debate drinking game. I just bought Jimmy Beam being as Jack Daniels is now watered down. I am sitting in my Nebraska hotel room watching C-Span pouring shots, life is good.

 
A different kind of elective for some college students
I took basket weaving, because this one was not offered.

 
Turdblossom admits planning October surprises
If, and I stress if they have been hiding Bin Laden for the surprise they ought to be prosecuted for something. I am not a prosecutor nor an attorney of any kind but to lie to the American public and let a murderer walk free until the right political time we ought to nails these jerks to the wall.

President Bush's top political adviser, Karl Rove, said Wednesday that the Bush-Cheney campaign is planning some October "surprises" for challengers John Kerry and John Edwards.

"We've got a couple of surprises that we intend to spring," Rove told ABC radio host Sean Hannity while explaining that he intends to wage an aggressive campaign no matter what the polls show.


 
Joke of the day
from the general....

Q: Why are Mary Cheney and Maya Keyes lesbians?
A: Because their dads are such lousy lovers.


 
Helium + 0 Zero Tolerance + school dance = suspension
This seems to be a bit overboard to me... but what do I know.

When two students in Gilbert decided to have some fun with helium balloons, they got more than squeaky giggles.They got suspended. Greenfield Junior High Principal Jill Bowers issued five-day suspensions Friday, but later reduced them to one day, according to the father of one of the girls.





 
Say hello ...
to Burst Transmission and Wills4223. Both added to blogroll, both great blogs, both nice enough to mention life or something like it to their readers.

 
Debate Drinking Game
From Wonkette.... Via Blonde Sense

Start drinking for real after the jump.
Drink One Sip If:
Anyone says "terrorism"
Anyone says "Halliburton"
Anyone says "flip flop"
Anyone says "Saddam Hussein"
Anyone blames "the media"
Anyone mentions their own military service
Anyone says "September 11
"One candidate interrupts another candidate

Drink Two Sips If:
Bush says "cut and run"
Kerry says "W stands for wrong"
Either candidate talks past their time limit
Kerry brings up Bush's "Mission Accomplished" moment
Bush mentions Crawford, TX
Anyone looks at the wrong camera
Anyone whips out "evidence"
Anyone says "Osama bin Laden"
Anyone mentions blogs
Anyone invokes the hurricane sympathy vote
Anyone mentions "North Korea"
Kerry mentions Bush wants to reinstate the draft
Everytime you see anyone wearing the yellow "LiveSTRONG" bracelet

Finish Your Glass If:Anyone in the audience gets dragged out of the auditorium
Anyone in the audience gets off an unscripted question
Bush mispronounces any word or name
Anyone says "Osama bin Hidin'"
Anyone uses a sports metaphor
Anyone attempts to speak Spanish to pander to Latinos

Do a Shot If:
Bush mentions the deficit
Bush accuses Kerry of being "French on terrorism"
Kerry accuses Bush of being a pansy for avoiding Vietnam
Bush admits he made a mistake ("miscalculation" counts)
Ralph Nader shows up insisting on airtime

Finish the Bottle If:

Anyone challenges anyone to a duel
The moderator rips off his mask to reveal his true identity is Karl Rove



 
Dude where's my war?
Funny stuff from political humor.

 
More bumpersticker fun....
put one of these over that Bush-Cheney 04 sticker you sticker you see on your friends' car. They will not notice for days.

 
Boyfriend's arm pillow is in Japan.
With this and vibrators men are becoming more and more obsolete.

 
Obama has 51 Point lead over Keyes
Keyes may as well not buy that house in Illinois.

 
Sherriff's Deputy arrested for masturbation incident in salon
You know, I have seen some hot hair dressers in my day, but I never needed to jack off in salon. Mankes me wonder if this is an isolated incident. If not should we really wear the capes they provide us.

 
Musgrave site hacked
From Ralph....
Everyone's favorite congresswoman Marilyn Musgrave is having some problems with her website. Maybe her webmaster got tired of her gay marriage rants and said fuck it.

Where Musgrave once listed her biography and stands on various issues, now there is an "ADULTS ONLY" warning and a link to pictures of graphic sexual acts.


 
Nebraska blogging again....
As some of you may have noticed my blogging has been a light these past few days. I am in Nebraska for work once again. Nebraska is fine, the people are great, the only problem that I can come up with is that they are bored or must be. If you do not believe me read this. The scenery is pretty if you like brown corn.

The strangest thing that I have encountered is that the people call lunch dinner. I actually had an argument with a man at the gas station about this. I asked him my first night here where a good place close by to get dinner was, after some directions I arrived at the cafe where he told me to go. They closed at 2:00pm. The closed sign was faded with sunlight so I doubted that this was a new policy. The more I thought about this the madder I got. So, I went back to the gas station to ask him why he had deliberately misled me. His answer "well they are open for dinner." Me "No, I was just there, they are not open." Him "why didn't you say supper, I wouldn't have told you to go there?" Me "my mistake." So.... I just finished dinner and now am working from hotel room before supper.

Wednesday, September 29, 2004
 
Another great Bush bumper sticker
Travis has another good one....

Tuesday, September 28, 2004
 
BYU bans "I can't... I'm mormon" t-shirts
Some detect a "desire to sin" in implied message. This seems a little too much for me.
PROVO — Managers of the student newspaper at Brigham Young University pulled an advertisement after numerous complaints that it was too offensive for the conservative campus.

Chad Ramos, who capitalizes on "Mormon speak" in order to sell T-shirts, is surprised — but not particularly disappointed — at the furor at BYU over his "I can't" T-shirts. Stuart Johnson, Deseret Morning News The ad campaign began at the start of the month and sparked a big stir over a T-shirt with a simple phrase — "I Can't ... I'm Mormon."

Students, professors and administrators felt the slogan implied wearers wished they could drink, smoke or have casual sex but were prevented only because they are members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints.


 
Is your wife a porn star?
Here are some helpful hints in figurung it all out.

 
Anti Musgrave ads released
Stan the man Matsanuka may benefit from these ads or they may backfire. You decide.

 
Say hello
to wills4223. A new (to me)Duke city blogger. He makes some interesting points. Stop by and say hello.

 
George W. Bush loyalty quiz
go take it.... link to Kerry quiz on same page.

Q: What statement best describes your opinion of George W. Bush?

He's a resolute, principled leader who is a strong wartime President

He's a clueless moron who couldn't find oil in Texas

He's an arrogant liar hell-bent on world domination

He's a faithful servant of God He's a faithful servant of Dick Cheney



 
Bush Bumperstickers

Bush/Cheney '04: Compassionate Colonialism
Bush/Cheney '04: Leave no billionaire behind
Bush/Cheney '04: Four More Wars!
Bush/Cheney '04: Assimilate. Resistance is Futile.
Bush/Cheney '04: Apocalypse Now!
BU_ _ SH_ _!
Bush/Cheney '04: Because the truth just isn't good enough.
Bush/Cheney '04: Over a billion Whoppers served.
Bush/Cheney '04: Putting the "con" in conservatism
Bush/Cheney '04: Thanks for not paying attention.
Bush/Cheney '04: The last vote you'll ever have to cast.
Bush/Cheney '04: This time, elect us!
Bush/Cheney '04: We're Gooder!
Bush/Cheney: Asses of Evil
Don't think. Vote Bush!
George W. Bush: A brainwave away from the presidency
George W. Bush: It takes a village idiot
Who would Jesus Bomb?
Bush/Cheney '04: "Leave no child a dime!"

From Strange Cosmos



 
Quote of the day
from political humor...

You think you are big enough to make me, you little wimp? Come on, come over here and make me, I dare you…You little fruitcake. You little fruitcake. I said you are a fruitcake." —Rep. Peter Stark (D-Calif.) to Rep. Scott McInnis (R-Colo.), after McInnis told him to "shut up" during a legislative dispute


To truly appreciate this one must know who Scott McGinnis is, I grew up in his district - CO 3 and can tell you Stark was nicer to him than a lot of his constituents would have been.

 
New Mexico town purchased for terror training
Playas, NM has a new owner. Uncle Sam purchased the small mining community in Southwest NM for $5M.

 
Wet T-Shirt
Via Jim's News....
This would win some contests...

 
4 year old brings mother's pot to school...
I bet she is installing a hasp with a lock and key for her sock drawer....

 
Makes me want to go fishing
Lets go!!!!!!!

 
Sad day for friends of Gentleman Jack
Jack Daniels has unceremoniously lowered alcohol content from 86 proof or 43% to 80 proof or 40%.

alert drunkard" Chris Sharp, who was apparently the first to notice the switch. Sharp has started an online petition and boycott with the magazine's backing "designed to right this grievous wrong." Distillery rep Roger Brashears told us, "We researched it and decided the majority of people wanted a less potent drink." Rich writes, "Jack Daniel's is, of course, a private corporation and they can do whatever the hell they want," but called the alcohol dilution "unfathomable blasphemy. They can lower the proof to zero and call it lemonade if they like. But that doesn't mean we have to drink it."



 
Crawford Texas newspaper endorses Kerry
I guess the village wants their idiot back.

A tiny weekly newspaper that bills itself as President Bush (news - web sites)'s hometown paper has endorsed John Kerry (news - web sites) for president, saying the Massachusetts senator will restore American dignity.

The Lone Star Iconoclast, which has a weekly circulation of 425, said in an editorial dated Sept. 29 that Texans should rate the candidates not by hometown or political party, but by where they intend to take the country.


Monday, September 27, 2004
 
Bill O'Reilly vs. Jon Stewart Round 2
From Boston.com
Remember when O'Reilly said that they had done research saying that all the Daily Show viewers were stoned slackers. Well, Mr. O'Reilly I am sure that a written apology would suffice for Mr. Stewart.

Viewers of Jon Stewart's show are more likely to have completed four years of college than people who watch "The O'Reilly Factor," according to Nielsen Media Research.

O'Reilly's teasing came when Stewart appeared on his show earlier this month.
"You know what's really frightening?" O'Reilly said. "You actually have an influence on this presidential election. That is scary, but it's true.

You've got stoned slackers watching your dopey show every night and they can vote."



Transcript of interview where O'Reilly called DS viewers stoned slackers.

 
Happy Harvest Moon
In Nebraska again for work. I drove in from the west watching the harvest moon rise through the rainclouds, it was beautiful. So happy harvest moon from farm country.

Sunday, September 26, 2004
 
Democrats = Slave Owners
Via Ralph....
This guy must hang out with Keyes.

 
Have you ever been to Mesa Verde National Park?
If you have, this will interest you..... Hey it is 50 miles from my house, how could it not interest me?

 
Don't tell me she would not be a good first lady....
From 9 News a decent news outlet if you are in Denver.

PUEBLO, Colo. (AP) - A group of 600 Democrats crowded the 4H Auditorium at the State Fairgrounds Friday hoping to see for themselves whether presidential candidate John Kerry's wife was as outspoken and sharp-tongued as some have described her.

Teresa Heinz Kerry delivered for her supporters when she talked back to a heckler who implied her husband's a flip-flopper.

During a question and answer session, a young man demanded to know why Kerry voted to give Bush authority to attack Iraq but voted against an $87 billion appropriation bill to support the war effort there.

"Is that the kind of thing he would do as president?," the man asked.

Heinz Kerry sharply asked the man whether he had read the legislation that was voted on. When he said no, she told him that Kerry had supported $60 billion in military appropriations for Iraq, but would not vote for the full $87 billion because he considered it a "blank check."

Kerry was one of 11 Democrats to vote against the bill.

"And we knew they'd already given Haliburton millions in no-bid contracts," she snapped, referring to the company formerly led by Vice President Dick Cheney.

"If you want to say (Kerry) flip-flopped, just say so, don't try to hide," Heinz Kerry scolded.

The young man responsed with chanting "Four more years!" as he walked out of the auditorium. The partisan crowd's cheer of "Six more weeks!" quickly drowned him out.

Roberto Costales of Canon City liked the way she dealt with her heckler. "Did you notice how she handled that one guy? I bet she doesn't back down from anybody," he laughed.


 
Banned in Arkansas
PW2 and the NWArk Bloggers found this....

 
Colorado Luis' Swing State Challenge
3 to 1 is better oddds than in Vegas. So go put a sign up.

Friday, September 24, 2004
 
Kerry captures Bin-Laden
This might be the headline if Big John whens the little contest he is entered in come November 2.

 
Cat Stevens and Ted Kennedy protest no fly list
A little Friday fun for all of you out there in the blogosphere.

 
There is a first time for everything....
Today I had a visitor from Lybia. That is nice to see that they are interested in American politics. I wonder if they voted in our poll? If so are they fans of Dubya or part of the Lybia for Kerry crowd. That is a joke BTW.

 
Can we say too close to call?
Latest Rasmussen numbers.

Bush
47.4
Kerry
46.5

 
Say hello to
Democracy for New Mexico... A progressive blog from a key swing state. Thanks to Newmexiken for the heads up.

 
Kobe Bryant police interview transcript...
My 2 readers in CO may have special interest in this, as may my 2 Los Angeles readers. Click here for transcript. From the Smoking Gun courtesy of Fark.

For the first time in its unsanitized form, below you'll find the official 57-page transcript of the police interview of Kobe Bryant conducted the night after the NBA star was accused of rape by a 19-year-old Colorado woman. During a 75-minute conversation with Eagle County Sheriff's investigators Dan Loya and Doug Winters in July 2003, the athlete first denied having sex with the woman and then claimed their encounter was consensual. While our friends at the family-friendly Vail Daily--which first obtained the document last week--had to scrub the interview of profanity and certain graphic details--TSG has left in all the dirty words, thoughts, and deeds. We're all adults here, right? The police transcript, revised last month in anticipation of a September criminal trial, is a real page-turner and serves as the narrative bookend to the woman's account of the hotel room incident, which was provided by Winters during an October 2003 pretrial hearing. While you should read the whole Bryant interview, we will point you to the passage in which the 27-year-old Los Angeles Laker first tells cops about one particular bedroom predilection, a nasty act that will surely be referred to on signs razzing Bryant next season on the road. There are many other highlights, which you'll have to find for yourself (but don't bother dialing Kobe's cell--the number has been changed)


 
CBS boss endorses shrub
This is not really a surprise to me for 2 reasons.
1. He is in that top 2% tax bracket that Bush protects so valiantly.
2. He is in charge of the network that puts crap on like "Survivor" and "Judging Amy"

I am not going to go into a rant on Dan Rather, conspiracy theories, the FCC or Karl Rove, you know where to find that stuff.

 
Students punished for installing stripper pole
if you ask my opinion they should have been honored....Hey it is college, relax.

 
Wingnut calls into C-Span
My first reaction was to laugh, then I realized this is what Bush thrives on, and why he is ahead of Senator Kerry, these kooks stick together and talk to others. Click here to read full transcript. Courtesy of Skippy.

PETER SLEN, HOST: Kenner, Louisiana, good morning.

CALLER (in a very airy voice): Good morning. I’m going to vote for President Bush because, after all, you know, God made us there, you know, in His image, free from any black color and all [Host looks up, surprised]. The only church that Kerry can go to is where they say the Black Mass, and that is in the Merriam-Webster Pocket Book dictionary, where it says that that is the devil worshippers. [Host looks uncomfortably off-camera, at producer?] I would never vote for, you know, Senator Kerry.e every effort to give you the same booth again, or very nearSo, definitely, I would never vote for, you know, Senator Kerry.And that isn’t the only reason. Also, in the Bible, God said … God … that, uh, also, like (unintelligible) and faggots, that he says, anybody that lays down with another man and has sex with his own sex, and any woman that lays down with another woman and has sex should be put to death and their blood upon them. It also says that about interracial marriages and everything. So that’s the reason why I’m voting for my president, Bush.

SLEN: What do you do in, uh …

CALLER: And that isn’t the only reason. They also have other reasons also. The other reason is political, because like the political terrorists, they’ve been out there for eight months, and they’ve been out on the road, and they’ve been talking about … they’ve talked against our president. They put him down in every way. And God knows that that is wrong. He’s out there doing God’s work. He’s taking care of all our children.



 
Partial Transcript of Bush / Allawi Press Conference
Would you like some tea with your mixed signals?

 
Man dies as a result of swordfight with neighbor
Do you think they may have been doing more than drinking beer? HMM makes me wonder.
HOUSTON -- A sword fight has claimed the life of a 42-year-old man and injured an elderly woman, according to authorities who are holding a teenager following the attack.
A Harris County sheriff's homicide investigator said Jose Alberto Martinez, 18, was charged with murder and aggravated assault. Martinez was jailed early Friday in lieu of $40,000 in bail.


 
U.S. Opens Oil Reserve
After Hurricane Ivan, with Jeanne on the way it makes sense.

 
Ashcroft Followed by Moonshadow
From the American Street...
This is classic.

“I have long since suspected that Cat Stevens had occult powers,” said Ashcroft. “But now I know.”

Ashcroft described Stevens – also known as Yusef Islam – as satanic. “If you play his records frontwards, they say ‘Peace Train,’” said Ashcroft, shuddering.

Ashcroft and Tom Ridge have been hard pressed to justify their actions. “I am not jealous of Mr. Stevens’ musical success,” said Ashcroft. “Although I am bitter that Columbia Records passed on ‘Let The Eagle Soar.’”


 
Ventura Won't Vote in November
Right, wrong or indifferent this is the fight we face.
Jesse Ventura says he'll take a pass on the voting booth in November.

The former governor of Minnesota told an audience at the University of Illinois in Urbana Wednesday that he won't vote in the presidential election because he doesn't like Democrat John Kerry or President George W. Bush.

``Look at the position I'm in,'' said Ventura, who served as Minnesota governor from 1999-2003. ``If I vote for John Kerry, I'm going to get my taxes raised.''
Bush won't get his vote because of the president's positions on social issues, including his opposition to gay marriage and stem-cell research, Ventura said.

``It scares me when a president says he won't support stem-cell research because it goes against God,'' Ventura said. ``I have news for you. If you're waiting for God to cure Alzheimer's, then we are going to be waiting a long time.''

Love him or hate him, he summed up how a lot of Americans feel. Kerry needs to be more effective in getting out his message about tax breaks for the middle class, healthcare for the uninsured to win this group of voters....

 
Halliburton may Ditch KBR
I guess this story means more to me because I have friends working for KBR in Africa. Click here to read IHT article.

 
Rumsfeld Says....
More troops may be sent to Iraq to help with the election.

Rumsfeld:
Well, so be it," he told the Senate Armed Services Committee (news - web sites). "You have an election that's not quite perfect. Is it better than not having an election? You bet."


The sad part about this is it is also the way the current administration views our own election. Eh so it was not perfect, oh well, at least we won.

General John Abizaid, the head of the US Central Command, told reporters Wednesday after a closed door briefing to members of Congress that more troops would be needed to secure the country ahead of the elections.


Maybe I am wrong in thinking this but shouldn't we worry about the security of our own election first, so that nobody "steals" it. I am not opposed to sending those same guard troops to each voting precinct and insuring our own election is secure. Just random thoughts.

 
BUSY, BUSY, BUSY
Morning reads while I am away. Check out Rook's Rant and his post about losing a coworker. Blonde Sense talks about Dubya in 72, Richard Cranium has a conspiracy generator up. Alexa is headed to Miami, Mr. Babylon talks about hazing, while the general writes about dining and dashing for our leader. You kids play nice until I return.

Thursday, September 23, 2004
 
California Bans Pulling Weeds By Hand
I'm all for fair labor laws but this one seems a bit over the edge for me. I hope that it all works out, but damn who is going to enforce this law Cal-OSHA? Maybe during growing season they will have full time patrol. In some parts of California that is year round.... Asanine law

 
This Guy is a Charmer....
Man pees on merchandise after being kicked out of video store. What a jackass.

 
Man Arrested for Stabbing....
another man In a dispute apparently over tortillas and breakfast tacos......

 
Man Changes Name to "They"
.... as in "they" is going to dinner.

 
Mysterious E-mailer Informs Bud Selig That Hot Teen Sluts Await Him
From the Brushback..... I believe that GWB once said that he wanted to be the commisioner of Major League Baseball. Hmm.

MILWAUKEE, WI--Bud Selig was confused and excited Friday afternoon when he received an email informing him that a group of hot teen sluts was waiting for him at an undisclosed location. The subject line of the mysterious email read “Hot teen slutz R waiting for U now!” and the body of the letter included several photos of what appeared to be hot teen sluts depicted in various suggestive poses.

Selig attempted to respond to the email, but was unsuccessful.“I sent a response asking for more detail, like who these girls are and where I could meet them,” said Selig. “Unfortunately the email was returned, saying it was an ‘unknown address.’ That’s peculiar. I hope there wasn’t some kind of email malfunction. I’ve heard that Comcast isn’t that reliable. It sure would be a shame to miss out on an opportunity like this just because of some weird technical problem. I mean, how many chances do you get to bang hot teen sluts?”


 
Kerry's Electras (His High School Garage Band) CD and MP3's Released
They (the Electras) aren't bad. Click here to check them out.

 
Say Hello
To Blondesense and a NYC Escort's Confessions.

 
Encouragement for My War - Fear and Loathing In Iraq
Jello Biafara the front man for the Dead Kennedy's and Political Activist sent him an e-mail of encouragement and support. Jello makes some good points about how we can support our troops and not the administrations actions. Click here to read the letter.

 
Gmail Invites
I have 6 if any of you want one tell me about it in comments....

 
Kerry Leads Bush in......
Election Erection Contest.

Warning- This contains adult material, if you are easily offended, please do not open the link. (exposed breasts) You kids play nice.


Wednesday, September 22, 2004
 
Say Hello
to our new friends at StoutDemBlog.... We thank them for the link.

 
I Have Never Bought a Copy of the Enquirer....
But this week may be the first time. Thanks to Atrios and Skippy for the reminder.

 
The Worm Works out for Nuggets
Say it aint so Kiki....
Not that I don't think that Rodman is (or could have been) one of the greatest rebounders in the history of the game. I just do not like the man. I do not feel he would mesh well with the Mello and K-Mart led young team. I am just big on chemistry I guess.

 
California
In my previous job I took numerous business trips to California. On one of these trips after our meetings with a subcontractor one of our vice presidents whom we will call Slick, the project manager for the subcontractor we will call Jethro and myself went to a San Jose Applebee's for drinks. We were talking, laughing, having a good time. The subcontractor was from Louisiana and the vp was from Texas.

Jethro told the Slick that he was a roper, and the best in the business. This is not abnormal drunk talk so I thought nothing of it. Slick said he doubted that Jethro was that good of a roper. Jethro invited Slick to parking lot to show him his rope. (Yes he did have a rope in a rental car.)

I pay the bill for the drinks and walk outside to see what is going to happen. Jethro has his rope out and is twirling it in the air, Slick is running through the parking lot in his Armani suit, and Florsheim shoes. Then Jethro releases the rope, he lands it on the Slick. He has it cinched up, Slick is on the ground Jethro is cattle tying him. I am standing on the side walk with my mouth wide open.

Someone passing by or in the restaurant had called the police to tell them about a strange assault scene going on in the Applebee's parking lot. The police responded with 7 patrol cars and guns drawn on this strange scene. Call me a coward, but I was not going to get involved with these guys and the police. They explained the situation and the cops left in stitches while Jethro gloated and Slick pouted.

Needless to say we never did business with that subcontractor again. Somehow though, I do not think Jethro minded too much. Slick probably deserved exactly what he got.

 
Tracking Hurricane Jeanne
This does not look good for our friends in the keys. (With Graphics)

UPDATE:
Now looks like she is headed to the Gulf Coast.

 
Ken Jennings to Fix Iraq Quagmire
From Borrowitz....

Game Show Set Recreated in White House Basement

President George W. Bush has sought answers on Iraq from Ken Jennings, the champion of the popular game show “Jeopardy,” White House aides confirmed today.

Mr. Bush first came to believe that Mr. Jennings might have the answers on Iraq when he saw the game-show whiz on television earlier this summer, telling aides, “That there is the smartest man in the world.”

After contacting Mr. Jennings, White House aides began constructing a mock-up of the “Jeopardy!” set in the basement of the White House and enlisted “Jeopardy!” host Alex Trebek to reprise his usual role.

Instead of the usual potpourri of “Jeopardy!” questions, however, the special White House edition had only categories that pertained to the crisis in Iraq, such as “ANGRY SHIITES,” “RUPTURED OIL PIPELINES,” and “MASSIVE POWER
OUTAGES.”



 
Listening to.....
Kid Rock's Cold and Empty.
This song hits close to home for me... No, I am not a musician, yes I tried.... The results were not so pretty. I travel a lot for work, and understand what he is going through. I highly recommend downloading it from I-tunes it is only a buck. Lyrics source.

Maybe I've been on the road to long

Livin my life thru these songs

I guess lovin a music man

Really wasn't in your plans

Does it matter if I'm sorry again

And why should I apologize

You knew all along this was my life

You know my ins and outs

All my fears and doubts

Its the life I love

But its you I cant live without

And this whole world seems

Cold and empty

Someone please turn on the lights

Lord if there's an angel you could send me

I could use one here tonight

Now where am I supposed to go

My only home was in your soul

I know that I cant stay here

And drown in a pool of tears

Should I pack my pride

And face this life alone

And this whole world seems

Cold and empty

Someone please turn on the lights

Lord if there's an angel you could send me

I sure could use one tonight

Maybe its me who's cold and empty

And in my darkness I can not see the light

Please god if there's an angel

You could send me

Cause there's one missin from my life

You are my heart, you are my soul

Wherever you are, thats where I'll go

You know my ins and outs

All of my fears and doubts

Its the life I love

But its you I cant live without

Yes its the life I love

But its you I cant live without

The life I love

The life I love

But its you I cant live without



 
New Projected Electoral College Map
This is going to be a close election....
Arkansas is now tied, Arizona is within a margin of error, as are Colorado, New Mexico, Nevada, Florida, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania and Virginia.

Whomever comes out of the debates ahead will probably win this election.



 
Funny E-Bay Listing
The best way to sell a pen? Tell everyone how fat and skanky your ex wife is. I am literally rolling on the floor laughing at his description. Courtesy of Fark.

Description

I received this stupid pen on my birthday years ago from my ex-wife, and even before I divorced her flabby body, I hated the pen. I have no idea why she bought me this piece of crap. Sure, it writes fine and could "seem" kind of cool, but I hate it. The color is ugly, it barely fits in my banana sized hands, and it comes with some weird carrying case. King Kong could barely write with it. Every time I open up my drawer and see this waste of space, I am reminded that I used to be married to that skank who gave me a stupid pen for my birthday. It's not like I collect pens or anything, or even take time to write stuff down. I use a computer to write. OK, call me different, but even if I did like or use pens, this is not the one I would have spent money on. I have no idea how much she paid for it, but I can guarantee you it was my money she used to buy it. She could barely hold down a job, let alone cook for herself. This dismal lazy slug sat on the couch for entertainment and watched old movies all day. I think she held a job for like 38 minutes once. That was because they had lots of paperwork to fill out, and it took her that long before she got bored and left. We were married for about 3 years, before she decided to take more of my money to go buy beer for herself and her new "friend". She made up some lie telling me she was working downtown at this Starbucks store, which I knew was a lie since the customers would have to make the coffee themselves on her shift. So I drove by a bar where I knew she frequented, and saw her dumb face sitting on a stool with her "friend" Brad, some doofus she had introduced me to once a while before. They were sitting at the bar kissing, if you can call it that, and soon afterwards I was kissing off the marriage. She came home later that day and denied the entire thing, and when I told her I had driven by and seen her slobbering all over that hairless chihuahua at the bar, she still tried to deny it. I told her to pack her dog food and get out of my house. If I was in a right state of mind and not thinking about cancelling all our credit cards and getting her off my bank statement, I would have packed this stupid pen with all of her worthless crap when I did the final toss. How to lose 160 pounds of ugly weight quickly? Pack her crap in plastic trash bags and leave them on the curb.

My current wife, who is way more beautiful and way more cool that this pig could ever choose to be, hates the pen too. One of the coolest things about the whole divorce was I knew my attorney, because he was my neighbor's brother. He was also a big cigar smoker. When it came time to belly-up, I paid him with a cheap cigar humedor that I bought at a trade show for almost nothing. Forget those Divorce-in-a-Box deals, this was way cheaper.

So, please buy this pen. I just want rid of it, and any memories of red-headed elephants lying in my bed to just go away. I will even ship it for free, just to make sure it leaves my house and the state I live in forever. I have started the price out as low as eBay will allow me, so if it sells for that, I will be happy. Just don't use it as a weapon. Hey, why didn't I.....never mind. Jail time would not have been good for my frail body. I don't date males. Especially those I meet in the shower. Happy bidding!


 
Quotes of the Day
From Political Humor
"President Bush announced he has a five-point strategy for getting out of Iraq. Points six through 10 will be handled by the Kerry administration." —David Letterman



"The President and Mrs. Bush were on 'Larry King' last night and the president said, 'America is absolutely better off today than it was 4 years ago.' Then he said, 'Did I say America? I meant Chevron.'" —Bill Maher



"Campaigning in Iowa yesterday President Bush vowed he will not raise taxes in the next four years. He said I believe it is hard, very difficult to raise taxes when you are not president." —Craig Kilborn


"President Bush is going to establish elections there in Iraq. He's going to rebuild the infrastructure. He's going to create jobs. He said if it works there, he'll try it here." —David Letterman


Tuesday, September 21, 2004
 
Blogger Love
Go see em....
NWArk Bloggers Blogging from Northwest Arkansas this group of politicos is insightful and at humorous. Today is also the first day.
Quirky Burque Blogging from Coronado's City with great wit, charm, and ablility, go see Ms. Pika.

 
Paging Keon Clark
He must be the only NBA player that does not have a cell phone. Well he was a FREE agent. Maybe he will be back from his walkabout in time to play this year.

The Cavaliers still are searching for a backup center -- literally.

With training camp scheduled to start in 15 days at Capital University in Columbus, the roster remains in flux. They might have the candidate for the job: They just can't find him.

The team is trying to locate free agent Keon Clark -- a well-known free spirit and wanderer -- who apparently is beyond the bounds of modern communication devices.


 
Smart Blondes
These 3 (blonde) ladies offer some of the best political and social commentary I have found in a long time. Stop by and see them, they are worth the read.

I case you missed the first hyperlink....
click here.

 
Why Jess has no Pets
From The Onion - America's Finest News Source. I think we can all relate.


ST. PAUL, MN—Como Park visitor Daryl Wilson, 31, reported that he was disappointed to discover that the ducks he'd fed for more than 20 minutes Monday were only interested in his bread. "I thought I'd really connected with the duckies," Wilson said. "But as soon as the bread ran out, they went off to another part of the lake. All that time, they were just using me for my crumbs." Wilson said he has not felt so rejected since the "squirrel and peanuts incident" last year.


 
Ralph the Wrecker Off Ballot in NM and AR
Well, this should be interesting, I am sure Charles of PW2 is quite happy and yes, I will confess the New Mexico ballot makes me happy too.

ALBUQUERQUE, N.M. - Judges in New Mexico and Arkansas on Monday denied Ralph Nader access to the Nov. 2. ballot in those states, but the independent presidential hopeful won a spot on the ballot in Maryland.

In New Mexico, State District Judge Theresa Baca found that Nader does not qualify as an independent under state law because he is running in other states as the nominee for minor parties.


Well Mr. Nader, you can not have your cake and eat it too. Any consume advocate should know that.

 
Now That is a Wave
You have to see this, it is unbelievable. Courtesy of Newmexiken.

 
School Closure in India
Not due to lack of funds, not due to inadequate administrators, due to a ghost that wears aftershave. Makes me wonder.

Students of the Indian Statistical Institute said the ghost of a dead classmate had knocked on doors, jostled them on staircases and left traces of aftershave lotion and cigarette smoke, the Times of India said.


 
Unique Utah Town
At least they have diversity.....


BIG WATER - The tiny town of Big Water is not a typical Utah community.

There is no church. At least 10 percent of its more than 400 residents are unaffiliated polygamists.

It does not have a main street. The Town Council once tried to pass more-lenient marijuana laws.

And Big Water has an openly gay mayor.



 
Unbelievable
I just can not stand hypocrisy. If you are gay, do not sell out to anti gay organizations, this seems like common sense to me but what would I know. It is like a mass murderer being a supporter of guncontrol.

 
Top Ten List
From Letterman - As read by Senator John Kerry D - MA

Kerry's "Top 10 Bush Tax Proposals" are:
10. No estate tax for families with at least two U.S. presidents.

9. W-2 Form is now Dubya-2 Form.

8. Under the simplified tax code, your refund check goes directly to Halliburton.

7. The reduced earned income tax credit is so unfair, it just makes me want to tear out my lustrous, finely groomed hair.

6. Attorney General (John) Ashcroft gets to write off the entire U.S. Constitution.

5. Texas Rangers can take a business loss for trading Sammy Sosa.

4. Eliminate all income taxes; just ask Teresa (Heinz Kerry) to cover the whole damn thing.

3. Cheney can claim Bush as a dependent.

2. Hundred-dollar penalty if you pronounce it "nuclear" instead of "nucular."

1. George W. Bush gets a deduction for mortgaging our entire future.



Monday, September 20, 2004
 
Blog to visit
Go See Skippy.... Tell him we appreciate the link.

 
Love Your Body Day
Courtesy of Makes Me Ralph... Hopefully this will save women's lives. Given the recent events at CSU with a young female student dying of alcohol poisoning this story needs to be publicized.

The National Organization of Women is celebrating Love Your Body Day on October 20. Love Your Body Day encourages young women to quit smoking, resist eating disorders and binge drinking and respect themselves. There's even a poster contest.


 
New Biker Gang in Kentucky
While driving through Kentucky I saw a group of single headlights approaching at night.... Was it the Hell's Angels? Was it some other rogue gang of bikers? Was it a group of yuppy doctors? The answers no, no, no. It was these people . Scary, yes but in a different way. Watch out for them.

 
Quote of The Day
Oh how true....

We have it. The smoking gun. The evidence. The potential weapon of mass destruction we have been looking for as our pretext of invading Iraq. There's just one problem - it's in North Korea. Jon Stewart


 
Janitor Arrested for Selling Drugs at School
What could possibly go wrong?

Jackass must have fried a few brain cells prior to this.

 
Goat Beauty Pageant
Held in Saudi Arabia.... Could be key to peace in Middle East.

Sunday, September 19, 2004
 
Funny Blog
Go read this I was literally on the floor laughing at this guy.

Ok, ok so it is a bit voyeuristic but damn funny. PG-13 for adult language.

 
Say It Aint So.... The End of "Slutwear"
I guess I always prefered a little mystery anyway. Some of you will be sad I am sure, just remember, what goes around comes around. If the fashion cycles stay the way they are now, in about 30 years "slutwear" will return, pre-order your cialis now.

Click HERE to read article.
Excerpt from article

Demure designs have replaced scanty navel-baring looks on the catwalks of this week's semi-annual run of fashion shows, a reliable sign of what shoppers can expect to find in stores next spring.

"The slut is out now. She's dead," said Godfrey Deeny, senior fashion critic at Fashion Wire Daily.

In recent seasons, fashion has been filled with skimpy tops exposing midriffs, cleavage-revealing necklines and jeans slung so low that precious little was left to the imagination -- looks impossible to avoid on such pop icons as Paris Hilton and Britney Spears.


 
Nation's Governors Being Attacked
14 thus far have recieved booby trapped packages. Go here to read article. Link via Atrios.

 
My Thoughts
The political scene right now in the United States is so polarized, that there is no correct answer or way to fix it.

The way I feel about the current administration is...
They are like a driver on a two lane highway that is driving under the speed limit, with their left turn signal on just looking to go to the right.

I think a change needs to happen. Kerry may not be answer to all of our problems but, the good part is, if elected and not doing a good job we can vote him out in four years. It would take at least two to get his policies implemented.

Isn't democracy a wonderful thing?

 
I Thought Our Campaigns Got Dirty Here....
In New Zealand a Mayoral candidate accuses opponent of having a "small one"

It was a little finger that caused a big offence.

A Hamilton woman says she was embarrassed and offended when front-running city mayoral candidate Martin Elliott wiggled his little finger in her face and told her his main rival for the city's top political job "had a small one".

Alvina Barrett said the Fraser High School principal made the gesture at a public "meet the candidates" election meeting at Fairfield Community Hall on Monday. The meeting was organised by Te Whare o Te Ata Community House, where she works as the house co-ordinator.


Friday, September 17, 2004
 
Craig Kilborn's Last Show
Kind of sad, good show. Stop by and drop him a line if you want.

 
Man Sues Wife for Not Having Sex
Well it was worth a try....

 
Colorado, Key for Kerry?
Travis has an interesting post up... I have to agree with him. Colorado could be the key for Kerry. I have written about this before, for my pov click here,. I may as well put in plugs for CO bloggers too, so go see Colorado Luis and Makes Me Ralph. So go read about it from bloggers in the state fighting the good fight.

 
New Nickel
I like-ee... Courtesy of PW2

What do you think?

 
Waitress Orders....
Mob style hit on customers.

WESTMINSTER, Calif. - A 20-year-old waitress has been arrested for allegedly ordering the slayings of two customers who allegedly made rude remarks and tried to grab her as she served them drinks, authorities said.

Ngan Thi Bich Vo was arrested at her Westminster home on Tuesday as she was preparing to flee to Vietnam, police said. The woman's boyfriend, wanted for questioning in connection with the Aug. 16 killings, may have left the country.

Police also arrested Danny Tran, 23, of Garden Grove and Long Le, 22, of Westminster, who were allegedly in the shooter's getaway car. Each has been charged with two counts of murder and with gang enhancements. Bail was set at $1
million each, police said.


 
Golfer Cleared of Not Yelling Fore
He must have lost it in the sun....

CARLISLE, Pa. - A golfer plunked in the face by an errant ball was unable to convince a jury that the man who hit him was negligent for failing to yell "Fore!"

James A. Tomkins claimed fellow golfer George Long didn't yell the standard warning when he hit a wayward shot on the Cumberland Golf Course in 1999.

The ball hit Tomkins in the right eye, knocking him out of his golf cart.
Jurors deliberated two hours Tuesday before deciding that Long was not negligent.

Long, who claimed he did yell a warning, said
golfers in Pennsylvania would be happy with the verdict.



 
Funny Stuff
I found this over at D-Rex... He was just trying to be nice.

N: Wow, damn. I'm sorry...so I'll have the Original Barbecue Chicken Pizza and a double vodka tonic.
J: Barbecue Chicken and a vodka tonic?
N: A double, yep. You have great lips by the way.
J: Excuse me...my what?
N: Lips. Your lips. You have great lips. They like a thinner version of Stifler's mothers. Like if Stifler's mom and Daffy Duck had a girl and named her Julie. That is your name right? That's not bullshit too, like the whole Dallas thing?
J: What's your name?
N: Nils
J: Wow Nils, you're really suave

Ouch. I guess not everyone can be on top of their game at noon on a Tuesday. She turned and went to the Squirrel Machine to place my order. I can only imagine what she punched in:


.

 
Politicians I Like
Why? Because I am bored I guess. Add other names on comments and they will be considered.

Tom Udall - NM D - Congress - Help Tom stay in office

Nancy Thompson - NE D - Congress - Help Nancy defeat Lee Terry

John Salazar - CO D - Congress - Send a farmer to congress





 
Woman Eats Nails
This is one weird lady. Holy shit she, is eating f***ing nails.

A woman in eastern India is said to live on rusty nails and screws.Pampa Ghosh began her strange diet three months ago and now eats nuts and bolts, glass and stone.Ghosh, from Siliguri in West Bengal, told Asian News International; "For the past three months, I have been eating pieces of glass, bolts and stones.

"I really like it. Doctors have told me to quit, but I like it too much to stop now."Her mother Bharati said she was shocked when she found out what her daughter was eating.


 
Woman Vows to Eat Until She Reaches Target Weight
42 Stone or 588 pounds. Courtesy of Dave's Daily. I am an accepting person, but this would be a little much for me.


An American woman has vowed to eat non-stop until she reaches her target of
42 stone.

Nicki McRoberts currently weights more than 25 stone.

She says she wants to grow fatter each week and is takes in 14,000 calories a day, reports the Daily Mirror.

Her husband Tim Hammond has reinforced the shelves of their cupboards to take the extra food.He tells the paper that she sometimes eats a packet of crisps before having her breakfast cereal.

Nicki, who used to weigh just 10 stones, outgrows her wardrobe every month and has so far spent £3,000 on new clothes.


 
Fire Proof House Burnt to Ground in Brushfire
Somebody got shafted.... or so it seems. Courtesy of Daves Daily.

A $2.7m (£1.5m) hilltop home built to withstand fire has been destroyed - by a brush fire.

The house, in Santa Rosa, California, was destroyed despite the best efforts of firefighters on the ground and in the air.

"I was real disappointed when this house went. It was something we couldn't have prevented," said California Department of Forestry Battalion Chief Roy Sprague.


 
Banned Items In Airplanes
...... Guns, knives, golf clubs, boxcutters, bookmarks, yes, you read that correctly. A 52 year old teacher arrested for carrying a concealed bookmark. Can we say ridiculous?

TAMPA - For the past month, Kathryn Harrington has stared down the possibility of a criminal trial, a $10,000 fine and the stigma of being deemed a security risk at Tampa International Airport.

The reason? She had a bookmark with her as she passed through airport security screening.



 
Nebraska Blogging Day 3
I actually got lost in a cornfield today. The stocks were probably 12 foot high and when I was amongst them there is no point of reference. I wandered aimlessly in the direction that I needed to go and finally made it out I was a half mile from where I started. Those corn stalks itch if you are wearing short sleeves. Oh well I am out now. I guess, it would take a lot of adjusting for this Colorado kid to get used to it here. The good part is I leave tomorrow.

In case anybody was wondering... Yes, the women here are all still married and large. I do not particularly like flat land but the people here are nice.

Since everyone else says it, I may as well.... Go Huskers

 
Mr. Babylon is Back
First entry of year 2 week 1 here. If you have never read his blog, you are missing out on some great insight and adventures from a ESL teacher. So that is a shameless plug.

 
Atrios 1 - Washington Times 0
From the Washington Times....

Real Story.......

Chalk another one up for the bloggers.

Thursday, September 16, 2004
 
Where is Atrios? Say it Aint So
What happened here? Am I having comp troubles or is Atrios off line? Say it aint so... Please come back Atrios, we miss you already.

Update: Comp troubles he is up.

 
Observations from Nebraska
People do the damndest things....

Hotel Observations
I am staying in downtown Lincoln as I walked to the elevator I smelled the obvious smell of marijuana, I have not smoked it in a long time but there are some things that you never forget. I smiled and thought "well, to each there own."

I went to the store to get an alcoholic beverage, by the time I returned their were police cars outside, no biggie, I walked off the elevator their were police gathered around a room attemting to kick in the door. They succeeded as I walked by. I had to look inside, it was a little old lady probably 75 with a joint in her hand. She was yelling, the cops were yelling, and I could not help but laugh.

This strange encounter made me ask myself....
1. Don't the cops have anything better to do?
2. What in the hell is wrong with a 75 year old lady smoking grass in a crowded hotel?
3. Who turned her in?
4. Does she not have a car she can go smoke it in?

Women Observations
They get married early here, I feel like I am at home. The girl that waited on me today at Wendy's could not have been 17 but she already had a rock. Not to generalize but cornfed does come to mind with some of the girls here. Well goodnight all, I will talk to you tomorrow.


 
Johnny Ramone a Republican?
Johnny Ramone has passed away at 55 years old. I learned something interesting about him today.

Never knew that....

 
Nobody Accused them of Being Smart
Didn't your mother ever teach you not to play with mercury...

 
Bush Drinking Again?
Does that look like apple juice to you? From the G8 Summit.

 
Jackass Shoots at Cab Thinking Driver Iranian...
The cabbie was from Cypress a world away from Iran.

SANTA BARBARA, Calif. (AP) - Seven months after the Sept. 11 attacks, an enraged taxi passenger pulled a gun and opened fire on cabbie Umut Ozkan, thinking Ozkan was an Iranian terrorist, the driver told a Superior Court jury.

Ozkan, testifying Tuesday in the hate crime trial of Fernando Zavala, said he repeatedly explained to his drunken passenger that he was from the Mediterranean island of Cypress. But Zavala insisted Ozkan was Iranian, the taxi driver said.


 
Ronald McDonald Dolls Line Up in Trailer Park....
Some people have far too much time on their hands. What could the message have been?

When Eric Dau and his wife, Sherrise, drove into their mobile home court in Camanche in the darkness of early Wednesday morning, he says they were startled and frightened to see what was in the roads ahead of them. There were neat rows — as if in painted yellow lines — hundreds of Ronald McDonald dolls.

“It was eerie, frightening,” says Dau, who is corrections officer for the Clinton County sheriff’s office. Why all those 14-inch stuffed dolls, with ceramic faces, had been so carefully placed in the middle of a half-dozen roads in Cedar Heights, is a mystery from “Twilight Zone.”

Dau, who is also a volunteer reserve officer for the city of Camanche, was coming off duty at 12:30 a.m. His wife was in the car with him.

He estimates there were 500 of those Ronald McDonald dolls, in perfect formations, spaced about two or three feet apart in the center of six roads in the court that houses about 150 mobile homes.


Wednesday, September 15, 2004
 
New friends... Go see them.
Rook's Rant
A Little Hedgehog Hedgeblog

I will add to my template later... tired tonight

 
Traveling....
So my posts will be less frequent. Go read the folks listed on the sidebar, you will enjoy them. I do. I will try to stick a post in at least daily so you all remember me. Now kids I must go to Nebraska.

For fun go read Fark, Ayn Clouter, Jesus' General, or Tea for One.

For more adult humor go read Tucker Max.

Politicos you know where to go....
Atrios, ASZ, Daily Kos, Rainstorm, Ralph, Newmexiken,

 
Things Republicans Believe
Things Republicans Believe from Political Humor

Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime, unless you're a conservative radio host. Then it's an illness and you need our prayers for your recovery.

The United States should get out of the United Nations, and our highest national priority is enforcing U.N. resolutions against Iraq.

Government should relax regulation of Big Business and Big Money but crack down on individuals who use marijuana to relieve the pain of illness.

"Standing Tall for America" means firing your workers and moving their jobs to India.

A woman can't be trusted with decisions about her own body, but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind without regulation.

Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals and Hillary Clinton.

The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in speeches while slashing veterans' benefits and combat pay.
Group sex and drug use are degenerate sins unless you someday run for governor of California as a Republican.

If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents won't have sex.

A good way to fight terrorism is to belittle our long-time allies, then demand their cooperation and money.

HMOs and insurance companies have the interest of the public at heart.

Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy.

Providing health care to all Americans is socialism.

Global warming and tobacco's link to cancer are junk science, but creationism should be taught in schools.

Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him, a bad guy when Bush's daddy made war on him, a good guy when Cheney did business with him and a bad guy when Bush needed a "we can't find Bin Laden" diversion.

A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which thousands die is solid defense policy.

Government should limit itself to the powers named in the Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the Internet.

The public has a right to know about Hillary's cattle trades, but George Bush's driving record is none of our business.

You support states' rights, which means Attorney General John Ashcroft can tell states what local voter initiatives they have a right to adopt.

What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest, but what Bush did in the '80s is irrelevant.

Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.


 
Wednesday Morning Humor
Dad says, "Well son, let me try to explain it this way: I'm the breadwinner of the family, so let's call me capitalism. Your Mom, she's the administrator of the money, so we'll call her the Government. We're here to take care of your needs, so we'll call you the people. The nanny, we'll consider her the Working Class. And your baby brother, we'll call him the Future. Now, think about that and see if that makes sense,"

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what dad had said.
Later that night, he hears his baby brother crying, so he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper. So the little boy goes to his parents' room and finds his mother sound asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. Finding the door locked, he peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed. The next morning, the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now."

The father says, "Good son, tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about."
The little boy replies, "Well, while Capitalism is screwing the Working Class, the Government is sound asleep, the People are being ignored and the Future is in deep poo."

Tuesday, September 14, 2004
 
Powell "No WMD's in Iraq"
Surprise, surprise, surprise as Gomer Pyle used to say.

According to a Reuters article the central argument and President Bush's reason to go to war with Iraq was "flawed."

Powell's latest comments appeared to be his most explicit to date suggesting that the central argument for President Bush's decision to invade Iraq -- the belief it possessed weapons of mass destruction -- was flawed.

As early as January Powell said it was an "open question" whether or not such arms would be found and he conceded the possibility Iraq might not have had any when the war began.

Bush himself had often said that even if no such weapons are found he did the right thing in invading Iraq in March 2003 and toppling Iraqi leader Saddam Hussein, arguing that the country has been liberated from brutal dictatorship.


as Led Zeppelin said in Stairway to Heaven
Ooh, it makes me wonder
Ooh, it makes me wonder


 
Say Hello to My Little Friend
We have been added to several blogrolls as of late, and would like to thank our new friends...
Go by and say hello to Ralph, Newmexiken, quirkyburque, and Ayn Clouter. All great bloggers and smart too.

 
Sound Familiar
Classmates scoff at male cheer leaders presidential aspirations.... from the brushback.

John W Mills is a male cheerleader at Yale University. Each Sunday he dresses in his school colors and stalks the sidelines of the football stadium with a makeshift bullhorn, cheering on the home team against its Ivy League rivals. Afterwards, he organizes large keg parties and drinks himself into oblivion along with several other cheerleaders, players and fans. By all accounts he is a fun loving, irresponsible oaf who is destined to make a living at one of his rich daddy’s corporations. But Mills has more lofty goals. According to classmates, the drunken boor actually thinks he can be president some day.

“I don’t know what it is with that guy, but he really thinks he can lead the free world someday,” said classmate Richard Wellington, 21. “Imagine a dufus like him sitting in the Oval office making decisions affecting the lives of millions of people? Hello! This is America, stupid, not some crazy fantasy land.”

Wellington is not alone in his feelings toward Mills. While generally regarded as a likable chap, Mills is not considered to be presidential material. He is not even considered employable, except when it comes to the family business.



 
G-Mail Invite Site
Need one? Have an extra? This is the place to get and give g-mail invites. If there are none keep checking back.

Update: Site is scam per Charlie. He sent extra invites and got crazy mail back. No bueno

 
French Fries to Kill For?
I guess this answers the question of who makes the best french fries... People today.

A 19-year-old Chicago woman has been charged with murder for allegedly stabbing her cousin to death during a quarrel over a 99-cent box of French fries.


 
Oh Say Can You See? It's the Birthday Today of The Star Spangled Banner
On this date in 1814 Francis Scott Key wrote "The Star Spangled Banner." Key was aboard a British war ship off Baltimore Harbor, after a night of tenacious battle the American flag still stood over one of the forts protecting Baltimore.

From infoplease

On Sept. 13, 1814, Francis Scott Key visited the British fleet in Chesapeake Bay to secure the release of Dr. William Beanes, who had been captured after the burning of Washington, DC. The release was secured, but Key was detained on ship overnight during the shelling of Fort McHenry, one of the forts defending Baltimore. In the morning, he was so delighted to see the American flag still flying over the fort that he began a poem to commemorate the occasion. First published under the title “Defense of Fort M'Henry,” the poem soon attained wide popularity as sung to the tune “To Anacreon in Heaven.” The origin of this tune is obscure, but it may have been written by John Stafford Smith, a British composer born in 1750. “The Star-Spangled Banner” was officially made the national anthem by Congress in 1931, although it already had been adopted as such by the army and the navy.


 
Why not Use the Stairs
Manhattan teen dies repelling to his apartment.

A teenager in a Manhattan housing development fell to his death yesterday morning when a rope he was using to rappel to his family's fifth-floor apartment snapped, police and residents said.Osano Dallas, 16, tied one end of a rope to a 3½-foot metal barrier on the roof of 434 W. 17th St. and the other end around his waist, residents said. Dallas had been relocated to a shelter on the Lower East Side in June after an electrical fire ripped through his family's apartment.


 
Early Morning Reads
Ralph has Nader news. Travis says Bush is back on the sauce. Atrios points out one of Richard Perle's predictions. Well it is early if you are in the west.

Monday, September 13, 2004
 
Good Thought
"The best way to forget all your troubles is to wear tight shoes? "
Anonymous


 
Olive Oil Injections
Not Good.... Courtesy of Fark.

STEYR, Austria -- A medical intern at a western Austria hospital made a unique mistake.

Instead of injecting an elderly patient with antibiotics, he shot her up with olive oil. The woman was in the hospital to get her appendix removed.


 
One Simple Question
That needs to be asked... Chip in if you can.

Thanks to Penny for the heads up.

 
Mobster Sues Ex....
This takes some set of gonads to do this. I have had bad break ups with ladies but lawyers never crossed my mind.

Mobster $ocks ex-lover. Talk about a boyfriend from hell.

A 35-year-old Long Island woman thought she was dating a dashing telecommunications executive who lives in Trump Tower — until she found out he was also a former mob associate who's spent years in the slammer.

Now that she's dumped her boyfriend, he's suing her for $392,000 — every penny he says he ever spent on her — plus interest.


 
Man Sues Breathalyzer Company
Weird... Thats about all I can say.

Jason Reali, 29, of Telford, claims in his suit that he had to blow into the machine so hard to make it work that it often left him dizzy.

A heavy smoker, Reali said he blew so hard during one test that he fell unconscious and crashed into a tree, severely injuring his hand. He was sober at the time.


 
Quote of the Day
Husband of woman that gave birth on interstate in Ohio. Click here to read full article.
"I apologize to all those drivers out there who I might have cut off in traffic,"


 
Owner of Exotic Pet Dies....
Of a snakebite... Maybe I am just cynical, but if you own one of the things you are kinda asking for it.

CINCINNATI -- Zookeepers helped police search for venomous and exotic pets in a house where a woman was fatally bitten by a viper. Alexandria Hall, 44, was bitten in her home Monday and died at a hospital Saturday, police said. Neighbors knew she had pets, including rabbits and birds, but were unaware of her collection of at least nine poisonous snakes and more than one dozen other snakes, lizards and alligators until police went to the suburban North College Hill house.



Sunday, September 12, 2004
 
How True

after much introspection I agree Posted by Hello
It's Sunday guys..... Link via quirkyburque

 
To: The girl that wishes to remain anonymous...

Tap on my window, knock on my door. I want to make you feel beautiful. Posted by Hello

 
6 Different Ways
Tonight The Cure's 6 Different ways is going through my head repeatedly. So, I got the lyrics for all of you. Why? Because I can. If you want this song on cd I would suggest the rules of attraction soundtrack which can be purchased here. Movie is good too.

Six Different Ways
The Cure

This is stranger than I thought

Six different ways inside my heart

And everyone I'll keep tonight

Six different ways go deep inside

I'll tell them anything at all I know I

I'll give them more and more

I'll tell them anything at all I know

I'll give the world and more

They think I'm on my hands and head

This time they're much too slow

Six sides to every lie I say

It's that American voice again

It was never quite like this before

Not one of you is the same

This is stranger than I thought

Six different ways inside my heart

And everyone I'll keep tonight

Six different ways go deep inside





 
Darwinism Now Taught in Serbia, Missisippi to Follow
The Serbian government has reversed an order to ban Charles Darwin's theory of evolution from schools, following widespread criticism from scientists.


 
"Ever get the feeling you been cheated?"
Johnny Rotten - Sex Pistols
Spat to fans at final concert
Courtesy of My War - Fear and Loathing in Iraq

 
Line of the Day
Humorfeed said.... and linked to this new found timeline.
"Bush Used F-102 for Beer Runs"


 
Madden Out for Season
Big John Madden out after freak injury.
.....Yes, it is satire

After a meeting at ABC Sports late last night, Madden was tackled hard from behind by an intern. The intern, Hugh Ferguson, was thrown into a rage by Madden’s constant requests for turducken. Turducken, a semi-boneless turkey stuffed with duck and chicken, is Madden’s favorite dish and notoriously difficult for a person as unqualified as an intern to prepare. Doctors speculate turducken is the reason that Madden’s arteries are more clogged than a Japanese subway.


 
Remember that Old Atari
The one that most of us had because it was new and cool, before Mario and Luigi bounced or Sonic the Hedge Hog tunneled. Well if you miss playing the games click here. Link Via Boing Boing.

 
Jack Nicholson Rescues Woman From Car Crash
Jack Nicholson may be one of Hollywood's few good guys that are left.

HOLLYWOOD legend Jack Nicholson became a real life hero when he rescued a woman after a car crash. The star raced to the scene when two cars ahead of him smashed into each other.

When one of the vehicles tipped over, trapping a young woman inside, Nicholson stopped on the busy road in Venice, California, and ran over to help.

Here is classic Jack

She told the star: 'I'm such a fan, and I'm an actor too. I've just arrived from Texas to start my showbiz career.'

Nicholson then wished her the best of luck. He said: 'It's a tough business, babe, but I wish you well.'


 
U.S. Teens Deported Back to U.S. from Mexico
....I did say deported back to U.S. from Mexico. This strikes me as shear irony, I guess this is indeed a "revolving door" immigration policy. Via Fark.

TIJUANA, Mexico (Reuters) - Authorities closed three rehabilitation centers in northern Mexico this week and deported hundreds of U.S. teenagers sent there for treatment of drug, alcohol or behavior problems, immigration officials said on Saturday.


Saturday, September 11, 2004
 
The Only Place to Catch Fox News in Paris
Police in Paris made a strange discovery.

Police in Paris have discovered a fully equipped cinema-cum restaurant in a large and previously uncharted cavern underneath the capital's chic 16th arrondissement.

Officers admit they are at a loss to know who built or used one of Paris's most intriguing recent discoveries.

"We have no idea whatsoever," a police spokesman said. "There were two swastikas painted on the ceiling, but also celtic crosses and several stars of David, so we don't think it's extremists. Some sect or secret society, maybe. There are any number of possibilities."


 
Irony
Tonight I called an old friend of mine in Mendocino, he told me about his Santa Fe style, adobe home that he is having built. I guess just wanting someone to talk to I called another friend, this one in Santa Fe. He told me that he was buying a victorian home.

People can build and buy what they want where they want, it just struck me as strange. Similar to Americans buying Swiss Army Knives and the Swiss buying Buck.

 
Psycho Attacks Woman with Chainsaw
This takes the cake for crazy fuckers...Link via shithappens.

OAKVILLE, Ont. (CP) -- A 32-year-old man was charged Thursday after a woman was attacked with a chainsaw outside a public library the previous day. Halton regional police charged Jon McCartney of Guelph, Ont., with assault with a weapon, possession of a weapon for a dangerous purpose, and criminal
negligence causing bodily harm.


 
Technical Virgin
Hey, anything approved by Maxim Magazine and Rainstorm has my vote. Go check out technical virgin for teen abstinence parody humor.

 
I Don't Get This At All


Link courtesy of Atrios.
What is he doing? Why is his hand on his stomach? Posted by Hello



 
A Post All of Us Should Read
Nick summed up the way a lot of us feel so eloquently and beautifully with this post that it makes me wonder why I even try this. Please all Life or Something Like it readers be respectful of his wish not to comment.

Of course if y'all agree with me you can tell me, just not Nick.

 
Kill 2 Birds with One Stone
Scribeboy of Spiderhole has a great idea to increase voter registration. I think it would work.

 
Battle for New Mexico
No doubt the swing states are tight this election cycle. This Slate article profiles New Mexico. A state Al Gore carried by a wopping 366 votes in 2000.

There's a useful metaphor in Chuck Davis—shy, almost painfully earnest—for the entire state of New Mexico. Unlike the cranks in New Hampshire and Iowa, who flaunt their electoral importance, New Mexicans seem slightly frightened by all the attention they're receiving this year. The state has a grueling history of anonymity: New Mexico magazine has a column called "One of Our 50 Is Missing," in which readers detail their encounters with Americans who have never heard of New Mexico. But since January, Bush and John Kerry have showered New Mexico with love, visiting four times each and papering the state with soft-focus campaign ads. New Mexico's hyperactive governor, Bill Richardson, was selected to chair the Democratic Convention in Boston.


 
The Drink of the Future?
Inhalable Alcohol, hmm I dunno but I might just like-ee. Still scratchin my head over this one.

After years of working in the "leisure oxygen field" marketing oxygen for salons and spas in the U.K., businessman Dominic Simler came up with a novel idea: Why not create a device that would allow users to inhale vaporized alcohol along with oxygen? The machine Simler invented, called Alcohol Without Liquid, or AWOL, which takes hard liquor and disperses it as vapor in an oxygen mist, has been available at a small number of bars in the U.K. for several months; recently, a Greensboro, N.C.-based company called Spirit Partners purchased an exclusive license to sell the machines in the United States. Simler touts his invention, which looks like a slightly futuristic asthma inhaler hooked to an oxygen generator, as a low-cal, low-carb way to enjoy liquor, with no hangover.


 
Idiot Removes Buddy's Genitals in Hotel Room
Talk about a jackass.... Link courtesy of Drew.

COLUMBIA, Mo. - A former church minister and Boy Scout leader who cut off another man's genitals in a makeshift gender reassignment surgery in a hotel room, pleaded guilty Friday to first-degree assault and practicing medicine without a license.

Jack Wayne Rogers, 59, of Fulton, Mo., admitted he performed the grisly operation about two years ago.


 
No Toys for the Kids of Utah
Utah may revoke aviation priveledges for a man in a sleigh with a big red suit. Talk about asanine. Link couresy of Drew.

Has Ebenezer Scrooge moved to Utah?

In the minds of some Salt Lake City residents, a proposed change to the city's aviation code conjures up images of the famous curmudgeon from Charles Dickens' "A Christmas Carol."

The city's airport board recently proposed a change in the part of the aviation code that said small aircraft must maintain an altitude of more than 2,000 feet (610 metres) while flying over Salt Lake City.For years, Santa Claus and his reindeer were granted an exception -- but no more.



Friday, September 10, 2004
 
Maybe it's Because I am not a Gamer but....
This is taking it too far IMHO. Read it and let me know what you think. I am not a Playboy aficionado, but I guess if I am going to buy a dirty magazine I want real women.

Playboy is taking a chance on silicon instead of silicone. The October issue of the men's magazine features several video game characters posing in the nude images created by the game companies through detailed computer illustration.


 
Nude Roller Coaster
I want to ride the rollercoaster. Yes there are pics... if you do not like nudity do not click here.

 
US Cricket Team??
I did not even know that we had a national cricket team. I guess we do, and they are making some waves in the world.

The hard work began to pay off this year. Desai, 30, helped the U.S. national team emerge as surprise victors in a Dubai contest of six second-tier teams. The victory propelled the Americans to the Champions Trophy -- a biannual international tournament of the world's best teams -- for the first time.

Today and Monday, Desai and his 13 teammates will play the biggest games of their lives here, against Australia and New Zealand, the world's second- and third-place teams, respectively.


 
Tax Cuts At Work?
ME over at little diary appears to be benefiting from the tax cuts of the Bush Administration.

 
More New Friends
Site counter reports that we have been visited by beings from another planet or country at least. Thanks for coming by, pull up a seat and stay awhile.

5 to be exact
Canada
Mexico
Singapore
Spain
United Kingdom


 
The Bravest
Well the 11th of September is coming... Yes I know it is the 10th now. Check out "The Bravest" Live Fire Radio. Never forget the ones that were lost.

 
The Burning Question.....
I guess Billy Boy O'Really did not look to closely at the name on this question. Near the bottom of transcript. Tonight he will answer questions from Oliver Closoff, Hugh G. Rection, and Mike Cunt. Something tells me The General may be behind this. (Emphasis added)

Jack Mehoffer, Springfield, Massachusetts says,
"O'Reilly, I see the new Fox definition of fair and balanced means interviewing DNC chief Terry McAuliffe at both conventions."

Well, right you are, Mr. Mehoffer. Newt Gingrich appeared with us at both conventions. So did Mr. McAuliffe. What's the beef, sir? It is long past time to
stop the partisan nonsense. Fox News gives airtime to all responsible viewpoints. And our commentators are clear and lively. No hidden agenda here, just flat out stimulating TV. And that's memo.


 
There are Friends...Then There are These Folks
Only in Omaha, well I probably would have done the same thing.

An Omaha man who jumped bail in Iowa was delivered to the Harrison County Jail - beaten and wrapped in duct tape - by the woman who originally posted his bail, authorities said.

The woman and another man now sit in the jail, accused in the beating, and the woman might not get her money back. The 40-year-old Omaha woman forfeited $5,000 after the man failed to appear at a court hearing on an attempted burglary charge, Sheriff Terry Baxter said Thursday. A warrant was issued for his arrest.


 
CBS Stands by Documents and Rather
Yes, CBS does appear to have a grown a set of.... They stand by authenticity of documents.

 
Ken Jennings Loses On Purpose???
Unconfirmed....LOL

Reports have came in that this feud had been brewing for sometime now. Situations like backstage when Trebek put laxatives in Ken's coffee to get his mind off the game. And, who could forget the episode when Trebek walked out with toilet paper hanging from his backside. It is a proven fact that Jennings orchestrated that one. Apparently Trebek and Jennings' rival had been going unseen in the public's eye for quite sometime. Reports of Alex making question more difficult and backstage brawls are just to name a few episodes.Jennings has often said that Alex didn't like him because he made the gameshow look too easy. And, Trebek had spent many years talking about how easy Who Wants To Be A Millionaire was. It's all clear that his other feud going with Regis Philbin was his true motive.


 
Wingnut of the Year
Ralph of Makes me Ralph Pointed this one out to me...I guess we do have some real winners out there eh? Libertarian Rick Stanley of CO - Wingnut of the year candidate. Also a tip of the hat to the General, for his take

Finally, former U.S. Senate candidate Rick Stanley will be back in court on September 10. But before Supreme Court Justice Joseph Quinn can hand down Stanley's sentence for threatening the two judges who heard a previous Stanley gun-violation case, he'll have to read California attorney Peter Mancus's 42-point brief outlining why Stanley is not only innocent, but a good patriot.

Reason No. 25: "Rick Stanley is a patriot with big, bold, gold planted [sic] balls. He is certainly no limp dick. Instead, he is a boner. His Liberty Erection is firm, straight, and vertical. Stanley is a ramrod who stood tall and stands taller despite, and because of, the multiple convictions he has racked up in his pursuit of Liberty that has exposed Tyranny. His Liberty Erection points to an inspiring way to live:

LIVE FREE OR DIE!"




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