Tuesday, November 30, 2004
 
I Repeat
Blogger Freaking Sucks

It has gone from bad to worse. Goodnight, I give up.

 
Things they are a changing....
Go see Pusillanimous Wanker 2, he has a new theme for his blog.... Hot or not.



 
Best line of the day.... So far.

From I got a rock

In the background, the Food Network was on and some middle-aged woman was prattling on – "Cream cheese has many practical uses," she intoned, "but a sexual lubricant is not one of them." Bob did a double take and nearly spat his coffee onto the counter…..



 
Conversations with people who I do not know, but seem to know me volume 1.
Conversation that took place today at Chili's during lunch between some girl and myself.

Some Girl - Hey Jess (Hugging me)
Jess - Hey, how are you?(Blank look on my face I am told)
SG - Good, I haven't seen you in a while.
Jess - Yes, it has been a while now, I have been traveling a lot for work. You look good, have you been working out?
SG-Yes, quite a bit. Does it really show.
Jess - (Still not knowing who she is) Well you looked good before, but now you look even better.
SG - You are a sweetie.
Jess - Well, don't tell anyone I have a bad reputation to uphold.
SG - I see you are still the same, you always could make me laugh.
Jess - Hmm, well thanks.
SG - Does my hair look better this way?
Jess - It is different, but good. (good god man, someone help me.)
SG - Well, you look good. Have you been working out?
Jess Some, I have gotten lazy lately.... The cable lineup kicks ass and all you know.
SG - (laughing) Jess, you don't watch much TV and never have.
Jess - (how the hell does she know this?) Yeah, you caught me there.
SG - Well it was nice seeing you again. See ya in two years.
Jess - Well ok...
My buddy - You had not a clue who she was did you?
Jess - Nope, none at all.
Waitress - Water with lemon Jess?
Jess - Yes, Annette do you know that girl?
CW - No, but she comes in here some, Why, do you know her?
Jess - No, but she seems to know me.
MB - He has no clue who he is let alone who anyone else is.

CODE -
SG - Some Girl
MB - My buddy
CW - Chili's waitress




 
Conversations with a co-worker volume 1
CW - Good morning
Jess - Yes, it is.
CW - Sometimes Jess, I do not feel like you like me.
Jess - What would give you that impression?
CW - The fact that you often go the long way around to avoid my office.
Jess - (shocked... Who would have thought he was that astute?) No, I just need to get more exercise, I go to the gym, but I feel as though those extra steps that I take to go the long way, when I am around here really are helping me to stay physically fit.
CW - Oh, maybe I will start doing the same thing.
Jess - Yes, it helps you to stay in shape, live longer, etc.
CW- Right, maybe you should start getting some more sleep.
Jess - OK, I will take that under advisement.
CW- Are you traveling any this week?
Jess - Yeah, I think I am going south tomorrow night.
CW - I have to go to Wyoming.
Jess - I feel for you, (looking for a way out)
CW - Yeah (sighs deeply) Wyoming is not fun.
Jess - Especially not this time of the year.
CW -Yeah, my life sucks
Jess - (Thinking about starting to enter and exit my office through the window to avoid him) I'm sorry, but the good thing about Wyoming this time of year is that you appreciate the hotel hot tub more.
CW - Indeed, but I need trunks.
Jess - Target sells them, oh damn... My phone is vibrating in my pocket, I have to take this call, talk to you later.
CW - alright man.

It is not that I do not like him, it is just that everything is a problem and or catastrophe, I can only take so much of the pity party attitude.

 
Word of the day
Ice-grillin

That is a cool word, I am not sure as to the definite meaning but I will take it as something that is hot enough to grill ice.

Heard on XM Radio's
The Rhyme (I believe it is channel 65)

Monday, November 29, 2004
 
Target - Does not miss (Bumped for updates)
Just in case you are in need. Here are two of Target's online listings. Problems? Try these remedies. (funny)

Book - How to Goodbye Depression
Bag - Killer Weed

Via - Everybody in the Blogosphere, no I mean everybody.

UPDATE:
Thanks to commenter Jeremy for his finding this MASSAGER.
He also found some DVDs

Go see Jeremy

 
Caption Contest Winner
The winner of the second caption contest has been decided. Congratulations to the Beast. To see the winning caption click here.

 
Just wondering....
If
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's amore`.

How
Would a door knob feel?

Random thought.

 
Say hello to....
Of Horses and Hell......

 
Conversations with clerks volume 3
At 7-2-11

Jess - Do you have any hot chocolate?
Clerk - No, but I have room tempature chocolate.
Jess - You don't keep it hot?
Clerk - It is called a candy bar.
Jess - No thanks, I just wanted it to warm up with, you see?
Clerk - I have coffee.
Jess - No thanks.
Clerk - You could buy a milk from the cooler, a candy bar from the shelf and heat them up in the microwave, that would be hot chocolate.
Jess - That sounds umm, not good.
Clerk - Then don't ask for hot chocolate if you do not like my solution.
Jess - I won't ever make that mistake again.
Clerk - I also mix candy bars with my coffee, it makes what some people call a mocha.
Jess - That's creative. I guess you have to make do with what you have eh?
Clerk - (indignantly) Make due? This stuff is the shit. Open your mind man.
Jess - I am pretty open minded.
Clerk - Try it sometime.
Jess - Perhaps someday.
Clerk - We have hotdogs, they are hot.
Jess - Sorry, I ate earlier.
Clerk - Your loss.
Jess - I guess so.
Clerk - (As I am walking out the door) How bout some chili?
Jess - No thanks.

All I wanted was hot chocolate.... I wonder if he was on commision?

 
Is it just me?
Does blogger suck or does blogger fucking suck. I have been on it about 8 months and it has gotten progressively worse, though it has been argued that so have my posts, so maybe we are moving in the same direction.

 
What are you? I am 100% Aquarius - Something is screwed up in my html.
You are 100% Aquarius


Do you match your zodiac sign?


Sunday, November 28, 2004
 
Conversations with clerks volume 2
Yesterday while doing some christmas shopping, I wandered into the ladies department at Dillards. I was trying to buy the LA Lady something, hell I don't know what, just something special. I was not succesful, in my attempt. Here is my story.

Clerk - You look lost.
Jess - That is an understatement.
Clerk - Are you looking for something for your wife?
Jess - My wife has been pretty lax about getting a hold of me, she does not write, she does not call, hell I have not even met her yet. I thought it was our company e-mail's spam blocker holding up her e-mails but I called our IT department and they had nothing.
Clerk - (Laughing) I am Amy.
Jess - Hi Amy, I am Jess
Clerk - Thanks Jess, I needed that. Can I use that line when my mother asks me why I am not married?
Jess - Yes, go ahead.
Amy - So what are you looking for?
Jess - Something for my girlfriend.
Amy - OK, What does she want?
Jess - I dunno, you are a girl, what would you want?
Amy - From you?
Jess - Or from anyone, the giver is irrelevant, you are the reciever what would you want?
Amy - Lets look at these over here.
Jess - OK
Amy - What size is she?
Jess - Girl's size
Amy - OK, like my size? I am a six.
Jess - Maybe
Amy - Like her's? (pointing to another sales associate) She looks like about a ten?
Jess - Huh?
Amy - You know, a size ten.
Jess - Oh, I thought you were talking about a thing my friends and I used to to do, ya know rating girls on looks..
Amy - Do guys do that?
Jess - We do or at least did, it has been years since I've done it.
Amy - (Laughing) Thanks for coming in, you have made my night. I like laughing.
Jess - Your welcome, back to this sizing thing.
Amy - Yes.
Jess - I do not know what size she is.
Amy - Well do you want to go over to her house, sneak in her closet, check her size and come back.
Jess - I would, but she lives in Los Angeles.
Amy - Hmm
Jess - Hmm
Amy - You could call her.
Jess - That would spoil the surprise.
Amy - I guess so.
Jess - I could never be a cross dresser.
Amy - Why?
Jess - Women's clothing sizes are way too confusing. Men's sizes are simple. Small, medium, large, and extra large.
Amy - (Gasping as she is turning red with laughter) Do you do parties?
Jess - Yes, I have them.
Amy - I mean as the entertainment.
Jess - No, I like sitting by the punchbowl though.
Amy - I bet you spike it, don't you?
Jess - Perhaps.
Amy - Oh my, this is funny.
Jess - OK, well I will try to figure out her size, then get back to you.
Amy - Great, come in and ask for Amy.
Jess - I will.
Amy - Hey Jess,
Jess - Yes ma'am
Amy - Honey, you made my night, my November, oh heck my whole year.
Jess - (blushing) Amy, thanks, I guess, I have acquired a sales associate for women's clothing at Dillards.
Amy - Honey, I will help you in all departments.
Jess - I have a girlfriend.
Amy - I know
Jess - OK.
Amy - Goodnight sweetie.
Jess - Goodnight Aims.
Amy - How'd you know that was my nickname?
Jess - Just a guess, goodnight Aims.
Amy - G'night Jess (smiles)

 
Conversations with clerks volume 1
Yesterday I was at Walgreens purchasing my blue christmas lights, I remembered the christmas tree I had in college. It was about 2 feet tall and stayed up all year round. It lit up to serve as a nightlight, and was always a conversation piece.

I lost or left it somewhere in a move. I was thinking about getting another one, I was attempting to describe it to the clerk yesterday. Here is the ensuing conversation.

Clerk - Can I help you find something?
Jess - Yes, I need a little christmas tree.
Clerk - For your desk?
Jess - No, for my house.
Clerk - Why not a little bigger one?
Jess - It would get in my way
Clerk - It only has to stay up for a month.
Jess - I beg to differ, mine will stay up year round.
Clerk - Year round? Are you joking?
Jess - Serious as a heart attack. Why do you ask?
Clerk - But Christmas trees are supposed to be taken down on New Years Day.
Jess - According to whom?
Clerk - It is a tradition
Jess - I have my own traditions
Clerk - I see
Jess - You see these christmas lights?
Clerk - Yes.
Jess - They will stay up all year round.
Clerk - I guess your christmas tree needs company eh?
Jess - I guess so. Can I see the small trees now?
Clerk - (shaking her head) Right this way.
Jess- (Upon arrival at the small section of two feet tall trees) Is this all you have?
Clerk - Yes
Jess - Thanks for your time
Clerk - Your not buying one?
Jess - No, I have to feel it. None of these trees do it for me.
Clerk - You have to feel it? OK. Good luck in your search.
Jess - Yes thank you.
Clerk - Hey!
Jess - Yes
Clerk - Let me know when you find one. (smiling)
Jess - Are you serious?
Clerk - Yes.
Jess - OK



 
Say hello to....
The American Warmonger.

The conservative that deserved his own category on my blogroll. Though, politics are fading away here to conversations with clerks. Goodnight guys, thanks for everything, I truly appreciate my readers. Thank you.

UPDATE:
Jeremy has admitted he is a little more liberal.... I knew he had some hope.

IRONY:
I will update this post but not bronco blogging ha.

 
Thanks everyone
Since August the 25th, we have had over 14,000 visits. Thank you. I am blushing. So take a load off, have a seat, you all are great.

I pulled into Nazareth
I was feelin? bout a half past dead (dead)
I just need some place
Where I can lay my head (head)
?Hey mister can you tell me where a girl might find a bed??
(Can ya tell me?)
He just grinned and shook my hand
And ?no? was all he said

Take a load off Fannie
Take a load for free
Take a load off Fannie
Then hey-yea-yea
Put the weight on me!

 
Bronco Blogging.....
Snowing in Denver. The Bronco's are winning, Ooh they just intercepted now it is 24 to 13. If it stays this way it will be a good Monday.

Here is my prediction poem....

Broncos win
Raiders lose
Jess is wishing for some Bombay Gin
The people in Oakland have the blues







 
Say hello to.....
The Sideshow

A reality-based weblog by Avedon Carol


I have read her for a while now, and I recommend it to anyone that has not to go see her. She even referenced me, in her blog, I am honored.

 
In service of the queen
Leave it to Snopes....
Via Fark

Snopes picks up on the Scotsman who lifted his kilt while sitting next to the queen. However, theirs shows a little more bag and a little more pipe.


 
Maybe it is just me....
But I do not see anything special in Anna Kournikova. A lot of guys think she is super hot, but me, no. I have seen better working in restaurants or as teachers in CA.


 
10 things white people have trouble admiting

10 THINGS BLACK AND LATIN PEOPLE KNOW, BUT WHITE PEOPLE WONT’ ADMIT:

1. Elvis is dead.
2. Having your children curse you out in public is not
normal.
3. Jesus was not White.
4. Skinny does not equal sexy.
5. A 5 year child is too big for a stroller.
6. N’ SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5.
7. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
8. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.
9. Kissing your pet is not cute.
10. Rap music is here to stay.

Via The Daily Bloon


 
WTF?
Is it just me who sees it or do any of you see how the Army recruiting commercials and the video game commercials looking remarkably similar?

Saturday, November 27, 2004
 
Say hello to.....
Mad Kane.... a very humorous blogger. Who added us to her blog roll. Thanks Ms. Kane

 
Things that annoy Jess - Volume 2
Button fly pants.

I always miss a button on the first try. Not fun.

Although zippers can come undone at inoppurtune times. Hell maybe I will switch to sweats all the time. Doubtful, though Hef wears his pajamas all day long, I don't own a publishing empire. Damn the luck.

 
My dream house (boat)
A houseboat. Yes, I know a lot of people like living in nice houses in nice neighborhoods, not I. I plan on buying a houseboat, living on the lake or perhaps the ocean, (yes other people do this) and having the best parties. When do you plan on doing this Jess? Within a year or two. May be the best way to get away from the Bush administration, just float to British Columbia.


 
Making the apartment into a bar - Volume 2
Tonight I purchased a 36" Television, with the surround sound set up and receiver, 5 speakers, a subwoofer, and a 5 disc dvd / cd changer.

I also bought blue christmas lights for the ceiling, yes they will be up year round. I plan on stringing them all around the walls and ceilings. All I need now is the new Jager meister machine so that I could have Jager on tap.

My apartment / bar will be tight. Anybody wanna come over for a party? Neon signs / christmas lights with a system. Jess is happy.

Don't ya bet my neighbors will love me.

 
Things that annoy Jess - Volume 1
Well actually tonight is only 1 thing.

Passive aggressive behavior
Example
Me - What do you want to do about it?
Other Person - Well you should do it like this, but I don't care.
Me - So you want to do this?
Other Person - Well I am not going to tell you what to do.... (mumbles) but I damn sure would not do it that way.
Me - OK - We can do it that way.
Other Person - I am not going to tell you how to live your life, but I do things quite different.

If you do this, my advice to you. Quit. Stop. Please, I can not take it anymore.





Friday, November 26, 2004
 
Conversation tonight.....
Chili's Waitress - What are you drinking tonight Jess?
Jess - Jim Beam and diet.
CW - OK, is that good?
Jess - I think so.
My buddy - I'll have a beer
CW- I am talking to him, he comes in here a lot.
MB- I can come in more if it means I can get my order taken
Jess- Maybe that is what it takes man.
CW- Jess, you are funny
Jess- Yes, but looks aren't everything
CW- Oh my god, you are the funniest guy I have ever met.
MB- Dude, how do you do it?
Jess- Do what?
MB- You can make women laugh with the stupidest shit.
Jess- I am only entertaining to myself usually, ask her. Fuck I don't know.
MB- Would you order me a fucking beer then? She does not seem to want to take my order.
Jess- Hey Christie, he needs a Amstel Light.
CW- You got it.



 
Go west young man.....
Haven't you been told California is full of whiskey , women, and gold?

NewMexiKen reminds us that gold hit $450.00 an ounce on Wednesday, it's highest in 16 years. Why Jess did not buy gold a couple of years ago? The answer rhymes with Jess is CUPID.

 
Amazing
Why do people on the Jerry Springer show, wait to attack until they ring the bell? I have never been a guest but if I was and I was crazy enough to attack someone on national television (not likely) I would not wait until the fat bearded brown haired guy rang the bell. Just a random thought. No I am not a big Springer fan, just thinking through my keyboard.

 
We are open for business.... (Making the apartment into a bar volume 1)
I am addicted to neon signs. I have two now, in my living room, two more on the way, and four saved in e-bay favorites. I think my apartment is beginning to look like a bar room. You can tell I am a bachelor, who lives alone LOL.

Signs I have now.
OPEN - A classic black neon sign with red lettering and a blue border.
MARLBORO - A bar room classic with the smoke protruding from the end of the cigarette.

Signs on the way
PABST BLUE RIBBON - How many people have those? Not many
JIM BEAM - Too freaking cool.

Signs bookmarked on e-bay
DENVER BRONCOS - I grew up in Colorado ya know
DENVER NUGGETS - Same explanation as above
JOHN DEERE - That will be tight.
PARLIAMENT - The gangster cigarette

Now you all know something about me you didn't before.

Thursday, November 25, 2004
 
What is Christmas?
To me Christmas is where you buy this year's gifts with next year's money. Damn, it makes me feel broke to even think about it.

 
So true
Oh look, yet another Christmas TV special! How touching to have the meaning of Christmas brought to us by cola, fast food, and beer.... Who'd have ever guessed that product consumption, popular entertainment, and spirituality would mix so harmoniously? ~Bill Watterson, Calvin & Hobbes
 
What is an optimist?
An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day. ~Irv Kupcinet
 
Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus

From the Editorial Page of The New York Sun, written by Francis P. Church, September 21, 1897

We take pleasure in answering thus prominently the communication below, expressing at the same time our great gratification that its faithful author is numbered among the friends of The Sun:

"Dear Editor--I am 8 years old.
"Some of my little friends say there is no Santa Claus.
"Papa says, 'If you see it in The Sun, it's so.'
"Please tell me the truth, is there a Santa Claus?

Virginia O'Hanlon
115 West Ninety-fifth Street

Virginia, your little friends are wrong. They have been affected by the scepticism of a sceptical age. They do not believe except they see. They think that nothing can be which is not comprehensible by their little minds. All minds, Virginia, whether they be men's or children's are little. In this great universe of ours man is a mere insect, an ant, in his intellect, as compared with the boundless world about him, as measured by the intelligence capable of grasping the whole of truth and knowledge.

Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. He exists as certainly as love and generosity and devotion exist, and you know that they abound and give to your life its highest beauty and joy. Alas! how dreary would be the world if there were no Santa Claus! It would be as dreary as if there were no Virginias. There would be no child-like faith then, no poetry, no romance to make tolerable this existence. We should have no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The eternal light with which childhood fills the world would be extinguished.

Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well not believe in fairies! You might get your papa to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on Christmas eve to catch Santa Claus, but even if you did not see Santa Claus coming down, what would that prove? Nobody sees Santa Claus, but that is no sign that there is no Santa Claus. The most real things in the world are those that neither children nor men can see. Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn? Of course not, but that's no proof that they are not there. Nobody can conceive or imagine all the wonders there are unseen and unseeable in the world.

You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what makes the noise inside, but there is a veil covering the unseen world which not the strongest man, nor even the united strength of all the strongest men that ever lived, could tear apart. Only faith, fancy, poetry, love, romance, can push aside that curtain and view and picture the supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is it all real? Ah, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing else real and abiding.

No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and he lives forever. A thousand years from now, Virginia, nay, ten times ten thousand years from now, he will continue to make glad the heart of childhood.


 
Tis the season....

The Supreme Court has ruled that they cannot have a nativity scene in Washington, D.C. This wasn't for any religious reasons. They couldn't find three wise men and a virgin.
--Jay Leno


 
Happy Thanksgiving.....
I hope everyone had some turkey today. I certainly did. I hope you all spent it with family and friends. Finally, I hope you all gave thanks to what needed to be thanked.

I want to thank you all for taking the time to stop by on occasion and see us, your comments have helped us through some dark nights and made some days even brighter. So here is my glass raised in a toast to all of you my readers saying thanks for everything.

Bloggers I am thankful exist.....

Travis, Will, Ken, Ralph, PW2, Pika, Chuck, Nick, Mr. Babylon. Thanks guys, love your work.

People I am thankful exist...

In the rural west we have different types of extended families, I am thankful for all of you. I am thankful for my parents, my friends and of course the LA Lady.





Wednesday, November 24, 2004
 
Holiday Plans
Lately I have not felt like posting a lot. I think I am suffering from a mild case of blogger burnout.

So, here is your assignment to work on while I am away.

Tell me what you do for the holidays. Are you planning a extravagant Thanksgiviving celebration, or TV Dinner and football? Are you going to be with friends or family or combination thereof? I am unsure of my plans because work is screwy as usual. I got an e-mail from a friend who was planning on going camping. Whatever it is discuss, and above all have a happy thanksgiving.

I will return, I just need a break. So eat some pie, drink some wine and enjoy this holiday.

Warm Wishes,
Jess
 
Sometimes modesty is the best policy....
The General writes a letter, hilarity ensues.

Tuesday, November 23, 2004
 
It's hard work being the president
Bush is doing the work of 3 men: Larry, Curly, and Moe!

 
It could happen
CNN Late Breaking News!
It has been reported that Osama bin Laden was captured this morning at 4:22 AM Pacific Standard Time by U.S. Special Forces.

The main suspect of the attack on the World Trade Center in New York City, bin Laden was captured at gunpoint as he fled an underground tunnel in a deserted mountainside of southern Afghanistan.

Northern Alliance troops, who witnessed the events unfold, explained that moments earlier United States war planes had sprayed liquid Viagra across southern Afghanistan, and the little prick just popped up!

 
Knock knock
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Some.
Some who?
Some asshole telling you knock, knock jokes. .

 
I don't get it
Why are 2 of the most conservative former Republican presidents(Nixon & Reagan) from a blue state like California?

I wonder if they figured if they can win over the people of California then they can win the nation?

Tuesday afternoon thoughts.....

Monday, November 22, 2004
 
Stupid quotes feature
Feel free to add any you want....

"It is wonderful to be here in the great state of Chicago" - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

"I love California, I practically grew up in Phoenix." - Dan Quayle, former U.S. Vice President

"The only reason we're 7-0 is because we've won all seven of our games." - David Garcia, baseball team manager

"It is white." - George W. Bush, when asked what the White house was like by a student in East London

"We're going to move left and right at the same time." - Jerry Brown, Governor of California

"Solutions are not the answer." - Richard Nixon, former U.S. President

"Permitted vehicles not allowed." - Road sign on US 27

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing again." - Terry Venables

 
Any buyers?
I'm worth $2,606,565.21! How much are you worth?

 
Thought of the Day

How big do minivans have to get before we just start calling them "vans" again?


 
New Breed of Pepper

Texas A&M develops a mild havanero, with half the "heat" of a jalepeno (itself only 2% as hot as the King of Capsaicin).

What is the point of this? It's like Playboy with 99.9% less nudity.

"You still don't understand, Jack. A bomb is made to explode; that's its meaning, its purpose. Your life is empty because you spend it trying to stop the bomb from becoming." - Dennis Hopper to Keanu Reeves in Speed.


Friday, November 19, 2004
 
Caption Contest # 2 (Rename us for a week if you want)

Will rename blog to anything winner wants for one week
(Nothing overly obscene).
or winner can have $20.00 amazon or best buy gift certificate
Contest ends 19- November 2004. (Have to have 50 entries)
First attempt .... That whole Red Bull gives you wings thing is BS.
Posted by Hello

 
Well I'm off....
Off to the only state whose moral values include legalized prostitution, gambling, and voting republican. Knowing me I will bring my laptop and stick me head in and check on you. While I am gone behave, and treat your siblings well now.

Thursday, November 18, 2004
 
Say hello....
To Skippy the Bush Kangaroo.

Skippy is one of, if not the funniest blogger I have ever read.

He even commented here, such an honor. Please go see him, you will laugh and enjoy it, add him to your blogroll, you will not regret it.

An FYI... Skippy is also the blogger that I borrowed "say hello to...." from.

 
Sometimes you wanna go.....
The theme song from Cheers seems to be in my head today. So it made me think.

Making your way through the world today takes everything you got.....

Sometimes you want to go where everybody knows your name,

and they're always glad you came...


Do you have a place like that? Mine is a little local bar called K.B.'s, where the waitresses hug me when I walk in and the bartender knows to make a bourbon and diet. I do not require it to be a bar, it can be a diner, a church anything you want.

So lets hear about yours.

 
Sad news.....
With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry La Prise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey", diedpeacefully at age 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in, and then the trouble started.

Laugh damn it, you know you want to.

 
Things they are a changin.....
A new movement has begun to promote Arnold Schwarzenegger for president. He would be a fresh choice for the Oval Office. A rich white Republican who doesn't speak English very well.
~Alan Ray

 
On this date....
In 1307 William Tell shoots apple off his son's head. A legend was made.

In 1820 US Navy Captain Nathaniel B Palmer discovers Antarctica. First worlds about the arctic is reportedly were "a bit nippy down here eh?"

In 1928 Walt Disney's Mickey Mouse debuts in NY in "Steamboat Willie" Later Mickey became a bit infatuated with the girls so thus the creation of "Minnie"

1964 J Edgar Hoover describes Martin Luther King as "most notorious liar" A member of Hoover's staff later was heard calling Hoover a most notorious crossdresser

(yes I added the second sentences)

 
Say hello....
To Colorado Luis. A blogger from my home state that just added us to his links. Thanks, Luis, I appreciate the link. For Colorado Politics, and Saturday beer blogging, Luis is the man.

 
Just cuz I can.....
Here is a link to the controversial Monday night football promo....

May not be safe for work, depends on your boss.

 
Why Jess responds to "Mark"
Lately I have been inundated with comments from an individual calling himself Mark. Mark seems to hate the world and especially my blog. Yet I answer all of his comments.... Why? The simple answer. Why not? He is entertaining to say the least.

******UPDATE********
My favorite Mark comment to date. Damn this guy is a kook.

Michael Powell is the king. Terrell Owens is merely a puppet for the vast left wing conspeeracy. I say that he ought to be fined by the league for daring to embrace a white woman in his arms.

Mark 11.17.04 - 8:15 pm #



 
Best line of the day, so far.....

Colin Powell announces that the US has intelligence that shows Iran is developing a nuclear missile. Also announces unfortunate typo from a couple years ago mixing up q's and n's

Drew Curtis of Fark



 
Mark Cuban fined for blog entry....
Yes, Mark Cuban has a blog. To read it click here. Mark Cuban a blogger, who would have thought it?

Onward and upward though; Is it just me or is the NBA becoming way too juvenile? The NBA adminstration went into an uproar over This entry in Cuban's blog.

Why? Because David Stern is too busy bitching about "kids" in the NBA then acting like one himself.

To read whole article click here.

Wednesday, November 17, 2004
 
Say hello to.....
Tommy's Thoughts



 
Say hello....
To Just the Facts, Ma'am (Redux)

 
F*** the FCC and their condemnations.....
I am sick of the FCC's juvenile BS. The agenda of the FCC has taken an obvious right turn. Now they are condemning ABC for their Monday night football promo. You know the one with TO and Nicollette Sheridan.

Who really cares. So 5 people were offended, big f***ing deal. 5 people are offended if you do not move across a cross walk fast enough, or if you forget something at the grocery store while in line and have to go get it. I do not see Michael Powell on grocery store detail but he might be better suited for that then what he does.

Nicollette Sheridan has not had the most illustrious career, yet she is not a porn star either, I doubt very seriously if she would let the shoot get out of hand or her panties get into a wad.

Would the reaction be the same if it had been a white athlete with a white actor, If it had been Peyton Manning and Ms. Sheridan would things have been different? What if it had been a black actor and a black athlete, like say Halle Berry and Terrell Owens?

Are these people so afraid of this and do not want the young 'uns to see it that they lodge complaints? Damn, is it 1964 or 2004?

 
It is the birthday .....
Of Martin Scorsese who was born on this date in 1942. If you do not know who Scorsese is then it will probably do no good to explain.

Of Danny Devito who was born on this date in 1944. Devito has been in numerous television and movie roles, my favorite is still "Twins"

Of Jaime Huelamo who was born on this date in 1948. Huelamo was the Spanish cyclist that won the bronze medal in the 1972 olympiad, only to have it stripped away for testing positive for performance enhancing drugs.

This date in 1962 is the fictious birth date of Traci Lords, she used this birthdate to do porn movies her actual birthdate is 5/7/68

*******Breaking News*********
It is also the birthday of author / blogger Nicholas Marks of Tea for One (blog) and Zen and the Art of Blogging (book) Happy Birthday Nick.

UPDATE:
It is also the birthday of Howard Dean the former presidential candidate is 56 today.

 
On this date....
In 1940 Green Bay Packers become 1st NFL team to travel by plane.

In 1962 President Kennedy dedicates Dulles International Airport outside Wash DC.

In 1988 Benzir Bhutto wins election in Pakistan.

In 1993 US Congress votes for NAFTA.

In 1994 Irish Taoiseach, Albert Reynolds resigns .

Today in History.....
1869 Suez Canal opens



 
WHAT ARE YOU?
I DON'T KNOW

****UPDATE*****
It was a question posed to me by a small child in the 7-2-11 this morning.

 
Saddest line of the day, so far.....
Ken tells me it's just a serious case of burnout, and one that seems to be hitting progressive bloggers everywhere. Could this be the beginning of a post-election avalanche? Liberal bloggers, falling like birds from the sky, where the air has become much too thin in recent days...

Pika Brittlebrush from quirkyburque

Regarding the abrupt retirement of NewMexiKen from blogging.

Here is my thank you note to Ken, I just hope he reads this.

Ken,
Thank you for your kindness, I truly have enjoyed reading your blog. Thanks for the link and the stories I "borrowed" from you. You will be missed, ah hell you already are. May you find your smile again, take care of the sweeties, enjoy the Isotopes this season, please feel free to stick your head in and say hello to us.

Thanks again,
Jess


Tuesday, November 16, 2004
 
Maybe I am just being an asshole but.....
It seems like there are far too many knitting and cross stitching blogs out there. While surfing on Blog Explosion, I ran across at least 18 of the things, all with links to others, I thought to myself "this is like blogging about chess matches."

I am sure it is quite fun if you are partaking or are live, but to read about South Carolina seamstresses does not do a fucking thing for me.

Let the hate mail begin.....

 
Roundup....
Wild thing, you make the FDA's hearts, keyboards, and telephones ring. As the FDA has asked Pfizer to pull the Wild Thing Viagra ads.

Likely story.... "Anna Nicole was not high or drunk, she just has bad eyesight." Yes and there is this amazing tree that grows money.

If you happen to be riding a horse through Australia, the law now states that you must wear a helmet.

Sure to be a best seller - The Book of Mormon World Records. Wanna make a bet that poligamy is in there somewhere?

Playboy magazine to do girls of McDonald's spread.... Tenative title - Can I have a shake with your McBoobies

Cleveland reporter protests FCC crackdown by reporting in the nude.... Ya gotta love it.

 
Irony
The blogger program or blogspot.com as some people know it, does not have the word blog in it's dictionary, the word is in the title but not the dictionary. One of those things that makes you go HMM.

 
If it makes you happy.... it cant be that bad....If it makes you happy....Why the hell am I so sad?
What is it that you are looking for? Is it news? Is it personal stories? I am going to take a wild ass guess that you all are tired of politics.

Let me know and I will work on it. I may be suffering from blogger burn-out and need some reinforcement to what you all like.

Hell, if you want I can just go away. I am not trying to sound whiny here, just contemplating. You report I decide.....

Thanks,
Jess

 
Say hello to.....
Some of my commenters blogs. ( I may not agree with all of them, but if they are nice enough to leave comments I will plug them here.)

Gus Openshaw's Whale Killing Journal

Wendy McWench

Golf Widow's Ministry of Silly Walks

Entranced by Alli

The Hidden Mind

Kill the Smiley

Shannon blogs

Quo Vado - The journey

Staying.cool

Point Me to the Exit

Tuscon Sam

Scott's Mindless Panderings

Boy Howdy

Flying Space Monkey Chronicles

Cheat's ChiSox Blog

Blog D'Ellison



 
Tired of politics?
Say hello to the PW's Science, Nature and Theatre blog... Always a good read.

 
Say hello.....
to Born Under a Fire Sign.

Monday, November 15, 2004
 
Monday evening humor
DID you hear about the dyslexic pimp?
He bought a warehouse.
Andrew Whiting

I SAW six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law.
My neighbour said: "Are you going to help?"
"No" I said, "six should be enough."
Max Robertson

Read more here

 
Zen and the Art of Blogging
Nick from Tea for One has self published a book called Zen and the Art of Blogging. Nick was one of the first people that linked to LOSLI, his book is the highlights of his blog. Please buy a copy. Nick will appreciate it, you will enjoy it, I am ordering mine today.

 
Get those evil-doers......
I was thinking last night while driving home from Phoenix about Dubya's mission, you know the one to rid the world of evil. Many have tried before, some of the notable names are Jesus, Mohammed, Budha, and Ghandi.

What would make Dubya think he could achieve this lofty goal? I think a more attainable goal for him would be to win a Pictionary contest with a member of his cabinet. Perhaps he could even finish a game of hide and seek with Osama Bin-Laden.

Once again what do I know?

 
Powell and two others resign from Bush cabinet
Even his cabinet sees that it was a mistake to re-elect Dubya. Damn shame.

 
Sad day for fans of the Wu-Tang
Ol Dirty Bastard dead at 35.....
Have a drink and smile for ODB.

From Nigga Please

I ain't no nigga
My words can't be held against me
I'm not caught up in your law
All music must obey me
All pain must obey me
I cripple my enemies
Got that careful vocabulary

Get your Wu Tang name here..... I am sweaty Butcher



Saturday, November 13, 2004
 
Having fun in Phoenix....
I hope all of you are having good weekends. The LA Lady is taking good care of me. Golf tournament was fun, sushi was good, all in all I must say life is pretty damn fine for Jess. I must go now, the LA Lady looks too good for me to be staring at a computer screen.

Thursday, November 11, 2004
 
Away for the Weekend
Jess is playing in a golf tournament and I am going with him for a relaxing holiday weekend. Wishing you all a good weekend. We will see you when we return!

Wednesday, November 10, 2004
 
Are you an alcoholic?
Take the test....
I wonder how my readers will score.


 
Semper Fi
The birth of the marines occured on this date in 1775. Please keep them in your hearts and minds as they fight in Fallujah, and throughout Iraq and Afghanistan, they are brave fighting men and women, we must support them, even if we do not agree with why they are there. The fact remains they are there now and need all of us to raise a toast to them tonight, or say a prayer before you go to sleep.

From the History Channel

During the American Revolution, the Continental Congress passes a resolution
stating that "two Battalions of Marines be raised" for service as landing forces
for the recently formed Continental Navy. The resolution, drafted by future U.S.
president John Adams and adopted in Philadelphia, created the Continental
Marines and is now observed as the birth date of the United States Marine Corps.

Serving on land and at sea, the original U.S. Marines distinguished themselves in a number of important operations during the Revolutionary War. The first Marine landing on a hostile shore occurred when a force of Marines under Captain Samuel Nicholas captured New Province Island in the Bahamas from the British in March 1776. Nicholas was the first commissioned officer in the Continental Marines and is celebrated as the first Marine commandant. After American independence was achieved in 1783, the Continental Navy was demobilized and its Marines disbanded.




 
Blogs or something like them.....
Penny has a great thought of the day up, it is true, true.
Zen and the Art of Blogging by Nick will be available tomorrow.
Mr. Babylon and class had a hell of a cookie party.
Pika ponders Heather Wilson's hairdresser.


 
Jesus speaks through Republicans?
To think that anyone would believe in God interferring with U.S. Politics is an insult to the maker himself. George Bush won the election.... Yes, but does Jesus speak through Republicans? Not the Jesus that I read about in the bible. Would someone tell this guy that? Link here. Emphasis below is mine.

Jesus speaks through the Republicans
I hope the election of George W. Bush is seen as a wake-up call to all the liberal Democrats who oppose God's will.

It is His doing that George W. Bush is still our president. Millions of born-again Christians helped win this election through our prayers and votes. Jesus speaks through the Republicans.

The Democrats will not be able to win elections until they renounce their sinful ways and stop encouraging abortions, gayness, and trying to take away our guns.

Earl Balboa
Washington Township


 
Please come to Boston........
On this date in 1944 Singer Dave Loggins was born. Loggins' biggest hit was "Please come to Boston."

A song that helped define a generation in its quest to find the right place. It is sometimes a long trip.

Tuesday, November 09, 2004
 
Sounds appetizing
Not really though......

Turkey soda for Jess? Naw.

 
Did "Moral values" cost Dems this election?
My answer in short, no.

Q: Why do you say this Jess?
A: Because if they did would this town pass this law?

Q: Why do voters in Churchill County, Nevada, support President Bush -- and legal hookers?
A: It's the economy stupid. Now I know, that the economy sucks, as do many of the LOSLI readers, but did Kerry know? All he wanted to say was the tired old Herbert Hoover line about most job loss. He did not get people to vote with their pocket books. What Kerry did was bring up terror, terror, terror.

Terror is indeed an important issue but people vote with their pocket books. People vote with their comfortability, people vote with who they like, even if he smirks at them and claims it is hard work, people need a salesman. A tour guide someone that speaks nicely to them. This is why we lost The South, the Mid-West, and every thing in the West but the Coast.

I personally could give a damn less what the people told the exit pollsters, we lost because our salesman could not close the deal. We lost because it is "hard work" and the competition worked harder.

We did not lose because Bush is on some great moral plain above us, we lost because Joe and Jane in rural American could not understand what the hell Kerry was talking about. The average American does not read the Daily Kos or Eschaton, nor does he read Drudge, the average American believes what the candidates tell him to believe, our candidates message was to put it nicely a bit out of focus.

Saying, "my opponent is incapable of leading this great nation" should be grounds for a bludgeoning upside the head with blunt objects. Political rhetoric is transparent and trite; we need specific actions.

Just a Tuesday afternoon rant from Jess.

 
On this date in.....
1903 Gregory Pincus the inventor was born. Mr. Pincus, helped to start the feminist movement by inventing the birth control pill.

1965 Willie Mays named National League MVP, Say hey Willie Mays

1969 Pepa of Salt and Pepa was born. Schoop doopy doop

1970 Charles DeGaulle French President, dies at 79, a staunch ally and friend of America.

1990 President Bush announces DOUBLING of US forces in Gulf. The buildup to round 1 of war in Iraq.

Monday, November 08, 2004
 
So.... you want to move to Canada
If you are desperate to get out of here after "Black Wednesday" here is an alternative, you could always Marry a Canadian. Try it if you like and are single.

 
So.... Why did the chicken cross the road?
Borrowed from Insanely Inane Thoughts (add more if you like)

Why did the chicken cross the road?
GEORGE W. BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is against us. There is no middle ground here.

TONY BLAIR
I agree with George.

COLIN POWELL
Now at the left of the screen, you clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

HANZ BLIX
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed access to the other side of the road.

SADDAM HUSSEIN
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

RALPH NADER
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN
To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.

MARTHA STEWART
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

JOHN LENNON
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

KARL MARX
It was an historical inevitability.

VOLTAIRE
I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

RONALD REAGAN
What chicken?

SIGMUND FREUD
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL CLINTON
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?

MOSES
And then He said "Let the chicken cross the road."

HOMER SIMPSON
The chicken crossed the road because....oohhh....DONUT!!!

DONALD TRUMP
The chicken crossed the road?!?You are FIRED!

DOUGLAS ADAMS
42

MICHAEL JACKSON
I didn't do anything with the chicken.I enjoy being with chickens because that makes me feel like a chicken inside.

MORPHEUS
There is no road.

 
Why did the chicken cross the road part 2
Oldie but a goodie.
From Juan Cole
Hat Tip Rainstorm

Why Did the Chicken cross the Road?

Coalition Provisional Authority:
The fact that the Iraqi chicken crossed the road affirmatively demonstrates that decision-making authority has been transferred to the chicken well in advance of the scheduled June 30th transition of power. From now on the chicken is responsible for its own decisions.

Halliburton:

We were asked to help the chicken cross the road. Given the inherent risk of road crossing and the rarity of chickens, this operation will only cost the US government $326,004.

Muqtada al-Sadr:

The chicken was a tool of the evil Coalition and will be killed.

US Army Military Police:

We were directed to prepare the chicken to cross the road. As part of these preparations, individual soldiers ran over the chicken repeatedly and then plucked the chicken. We deeply regret the occurrence of any chicken rights violations.

Peshmerga:

The chicken crossed the road, and will continue to cross the road, to show its independence and to transport the weapons it needs to defend itself. However, in future, to avoid problems, the chicken will be called a duck, and will wear a plastic bill.

1st Cav:

The chicken was not authorized to cross the road without displaying two forms of picture identification. Thus, the chicken was appropriately
detained and searched in accordance with current SOP's. We apologize for any embarrassment to the chicken. As a result of this unfortunate incident, the command has instituted a gender sensitivity training program and all future chicken searches will be conducted by female soldiers.

Al Jazeera:

The chicken was forced to cross the road multiple times at gunpoint by a large group of occupation soldiers, according to eye-witnesses. The chicken was then fired upon intentionally, in yet another example of the abuse of innocent Iraqi chickens.

Blackwater:

We cannot confirm any involvement in the chicken-road-crossing incident.

Translators:

Chicken he cross street because bad she tangle regulation. Future chicken table against my request.

U.S. Marine Corps:

The chicken is dead

 
On this date
in....
1308 Duns Scotus who coined the word "dunce", dies
1933 King Nadir Shah of Afghanistan, assassinated by Abdul Khallig
1978 Norman Rockwell artist, dies in Stockbridge, Massachusetts, at 84

These things happened....
1789 Bourbon Whiskey, 1st distilled from corn (by Elijah Craig, Bourbon KY)
1864 Abraham Lincoln elected to his 2nd term as President
1966 Movie actor Ronald Reagan elected governor of California
1983 Martha Layne Collins (D) elected 1st female governor of Kentucky
1983 W Wilson Goode (D) elected 1st black mayor of Philadelphia
1984 Anna Fisher becomes the 1st "mom" to go into orbit

VIA

 
It is the birthday of.....
These people were born on this date in....
1656 Sir Edmond Halley 1st to calculate comet's orbit (Halley's Comet)
1900 Margaret Mitchell writer (Gone With the Wind)
1922 Christiaan Barnard South Africa, surgeon (performs 1st heart transplant)
1931 Morley Safer Toronto Canada, TV newscaster (60 Minutes)
1967 Kim Dugger Wichita Kansas, Miss Kansas-America (1991)

 
Sad News.....
Actor Howard Keel dead at 85...

 
Tara Reid's wardrobe malfunction....
I joked about this once, but now google seems to be leading people here looking for this picture. YES IT IS A MATURE PICTURE....

TARA REID'S NIPPLE

 
Baseball blogging
New Washington stadium to be first "green" stadium" in MLB. Pretty cool.

Washington (AP) - Environmental groups have a color in mind for the baseball stadium proposed for the Montreal Expos. They want it to be green - inside and out.

The coalition is lobbying the District of Columbia Council to make the baseball stadium the nation's first certified environmentally friendly ballpark. Whether it's built on the Anacostia River waterfront or near the RFK Stadium, the new stadium would be located next to one of the nation's most polluted rivers, said Elliott Negin, spokesman for the Natural Resources Defense Council.

"We're talking potentially a lot of water pollution from a stadium," Negin said, noting that a stadium crowd consumes many millions of gallons of water over an 81-game season. Negin said a green stadium would be a good investment. "Not only would it be environmentally responsible, it would be fiscally responsible," he said.

They want a stadium built with state-of-the-art techniques that minimize water pollution, reduce waste and save energy, as well as trees and green space to prevent storm water runoff from parking lots from reaching the Anacostia


 
Man holds off three robbers with machete.... neighbors join fray using bats and rifles.
This is one tough hombre.... I wouldn't want to tangle with him.

A Snohomish County man used a machete to defend himself Sunday against three men with guns who tried to rob him at his trailer north of here, the sheriff's office said.

Neighbors armed with a baseball bat and a gun helped fight off the intruders around 7 a.m., sheriff's spokeswoman Jan Jorgensen said.

Shots were fired at one point, but no one was hit.

Sheriff's deputies nabbed two of the suspects who left the scene in a car. They had to be treated for wounds from the machete and the baseball bat, Jorgensen said.


Sunday, November 07, 2004
 
Caption Contest

Winners - Each to be awarded $20.00 Gift Certificate
(I couldn't pick between these 2, so they both get it.)

Chuck said....
As Betty Hardhat looked on, she knew she was witnessing an historical moment: the monkey was learning to use a tool.

Travis said....
KARL told me that if I would pose with a real macho-looking tool like this, I could get more man dates.

Saturday, November 06, 2004
 
At Lake Havasu, AZ
Water looks beautiful and nice to be in warmer weather. Spent the night in Flagstaff last night, I still love that town. If you are reading this in the East you need to experience the beauty of Arizona at least once, I started the day in the mountains at 7000 feet now at 600. I saw every kind of tree, from pines to palms. Hard to beat this for a weekend. LA Lady is on her way, as usual I am early so thought I would stick my head in and say hello. Anybody have any plans for the rest of the weekend. I am just nosey enough that I want to know.
Friday, November 05, 2004
 
Gone fishin....
UPDATE.. Jesse and myself (The LA Lady) have escaped away for a relaxing weekend.

Be back Sunday or Monday. I thought I would leave you with some of my favorite posts, and some of yours. A greatest hits sorta thing.

Dishbreaker

Coming Clean

This will drive you nuts

Joke of the day

Yes Ladies.....

Interesting information on Mozart

Man pours coffee on child....

Thought of the day....

 
What a way to start your weekend....
Just type your name and voila....

 
Poetry feature
From time to time we will be putting some of our favorite poetry up. This one by Walt Whitman was written about Abraham Lincoln.


Oh Captain! My Captain!
O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weather'd every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up--for you the flag is flung--for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribbon'd wreaths--for you the shores a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck,
You've fallen cold and dead.
My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still,
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will,
The ship is anchor'd safe and sound, its voyage closed and done,
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;
Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
But I with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.
Walt Whitman (1819-1892)

 
Not Newsworthy
Today I am going to start a new feature called not Newsworthy.

I am not going to tell you about the cop that was docked 28 minutes pay for visiting a prostitute on duty.

I am not going to talk about the truck carrying chocolate that turned over on HWY 390, coating the road.

No, I am not going to tell you about the motorcycle made of chainsaws.

I refuse to tell you about the prosecutor in Washington that cut the red tape and shot a defense lawyer.

Nor will I tell you about a naked man who tried to stow away in the wheel well of a plane at LAX.

Some news is just better left unreported.

 
Blog roll
I just took some off.....
Now it needs to grow again. Lets trade links.

Thursday, November 04, 2004
 
Help wanted
Like what you see? Want to join us? We need all the help we can get. All views welcomed.

If you are a blogger or would like to be one, let us know in comments.

 
5 year old delivers baby....
Pretty damn cool. That is just my opinion, no doctors here.

 
My last election rant for a while....
"Our countrymen have all the folly of the ass and all the passiveness of the sheep... They are determined not to be free..."
- Alexander Hamilton (quote via Pika)

Thank you Mr. Hamilton.

Why? What is it about a Conneticut autocrat with a phony accent that enthralls us so? Why are we so taken with Bush? Why are people voting for a man with plans to bankrupt our country and outsource all of government to corporations? I give up. Anybody have the answer? I will listen.

I have talked to my friends, people with good common sense. Some of them say they voted for Bush. When I ask why, they state: "well he is a good leader" What is so good about a terrible economy? What is so good about this whole mess? I love my country. But god damn I am mortified of where it is going.

 
Mars and beyond
10K and going strong....
I remember when I started this blog in may, I might get 2 visitors a day. Thanks to all of you. Lets get another 10K.

Damn left wing conspiracy anyway.

 
Time to go back to the gym....
I took a month off. Ate like a king, gained 10 pounds. Damn I feel fat. Back to the gym tonight for Jess.

 
Interesting memo...
From: British Petroleum
To: Staff

Please stop having sex in office.

 
Keyshawn Johnson not only looks stupid, he opens his mouth and removes all doubt.
Keyshawn: Pam Oliver needs spanking...

How much more fucking degrading can we get? Johnson is a burned out jackass.

 
Best WIFI Hotels
Good to know if you travel a lot. Link here.

 
Ashcroft to resign in next few days....
At least according to Drudge.



 
Candidate for dumbass of the year....
46 year old Taipei man injured after jumping into lions den.... reportedly trying to convert them to christianity.

The 46-year-old man leaped into the den of African lions and shouted "Jesus
will save you," according to the report. He also said, "Come bite me" before one
of the male lions attacked and bit the man.

Video showed the lion ripping a jacket off the man at the zoo in Taiwan's capital, clawing him and then biting the man in the leg.

Zoo workers were able to drive off the lion with water hoses and tranquilizer guns.

The lions were fed earlier in the day otherwise the man might have been more seriously injured or killed.



 
Back from the heartland....
The people of the Midwest are no doubt some of the kindest you will find. The food is good.

I am glad to be home from there. I think I will have a green chili cheeseburger for lunch.

Wednesday, November 03, 2004
 
Voices of the election (Bumped due to updates)
Skippy does it again.
awol pulls ahead (not his own)

Travis says it best
Fucking Nightmare!
I'm going to bed.
Maybe it will be better in the morning...
Maybe it will be better in Canada.

From Deep Blue Blog
dubya's in.
11 states voted against gay marriage.
you fuckers stole your country ... shame on you.
shame on lady liberty, the wh0re..

From The All Spin Zone (Thanks Richard)

The sun actually rose this morning.

There were a few times late last night and early today that I wasn't so sure it would happen, but damn if it didn't. It's a crisp, late autumn day in New Jersey, and the wind is kicking up a bit. More leaves are blowing around my lawn than I care to think about, so at some point today I suppose I should get a rake out of the shed and take out some of my frustration on the yard.

From Makes Me Ralph (So True)

We Lost
By 3 million.
Don't gnash your teeth.
Don't wring your hands.
We’ve got a war to stop.

Leave it to Will....

The people who elected Bush today might as well have lined up and punched me in the face. I care about life. I care about the environment. I care about a women's right to choose. I care about civil liberties. The people who voted for Bush showed that they don't care about any of those things, and I will never be able to forgive them for betraying everything I care about.

 
Say hello to....
Verbatim. Karen is doing some very good things over there, and to top it off she is a progressive, ya gotta love it.

 
Too close to call
According to CNN Bush 249 Kerry 242. I feel like I was 21 again watching 2000 happen again. Can we say "holy shit batman?"

 
Say hello to....
A New York Escorts Confessions. Stop by and read about Alexa's adventures in NYC, you will enjoy it. I do.

Tuesday, November 02, 2004
 
Disenfranchised?
A question for all the Kerry supporters out there?

"Do you ever get the feeling you have been cheated?"

Johnny Rotten
Lead Singer of the Sex Pistols
Spat out to fans at final concert as he walked offstage.


I DO TONIGHT.

 
Are we in Civil War times again?
Look at the Red States and Blue States. It reminds of the Civil War Confederate and Union States. This time it appears the South has won.

 
Some things never change.....
At least we can all still laugh at the Daily Show. One question. Who are these new correspondents?

 
Election Erection Update Kerry 219 / Bush 119
According to College humor's participants Kerry has it in the bag.... (hey it's election night I had to put it up)

Warning.... If the title was not enough here it is in bold

Contains female nudity - If you are using a pace maker you are warned - May cause erection

 
Best line of the day so far....
Peace In, Bush Out.
~Amelopsis

 
Best way to confuse exit pollsters
A little election day humor for all of you.

Monday, November 01, 2004
 
Say hello to.....
Stop the Internet. A political forum that I may just have to join.

 
Erica's store....
Erica one of my loyal readers has a web store. Go check it out. I normally do not plug stores but hey Erica is pretty damn cool.

 
Get out the vote
Tell us about your voting experiences here. Was it good to pull the lever? Were you hassled? Who did you vote for? How confident are you in your candidate. I have a plane to catch but will check in each night and say hello. Make sure you help us with our on going caption contests and have fun. Thank you to all of my loyal readers.... you keep me going. If you are a political blogger, let me know what is going to happen to your blog after the election.

Caption Contest #1
Caption Contest #2


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