Sunday, December 19, 2004
 
Conversations with clerks X6
Yesterday I received a phone call from a friend of mine, asking me to come to a party. I said "Great, what can I bring?" He said "how about some Tequila for margaritas?" I said, "I got you covered." So, I pull into the local Sam's Club known from this point forward as Deformed Cousin of Wal Mart.

For those of you who are not familiar with the Sam's club concept I will briefly explain. Sam's is the wholesale warehouse division of Wal Mart. They charge an annual fee to have the privelge of shopping in a warehouse. I personally never would join on my own because I think it is asinine for stores to charge people a fee to shop or be a member of the club. My thinking has always been that stores ought to pay us to join them by having lower prices, better service, etc. But I digress. The company I work for I guess as an "perk" gives all managers Deformed Cousin of Wal Mart memberships.

I walk into Sam's get a cart, show my card, (which, I might mention has my photograph on it) walk to the liquor department pick up the tequila, and some whiskey just in case. I walk to the check out, look at all lines and make Jess' mistake # 1, instead of my usual go find the hottest cashier, I went to the shortest line. Working that register was a 40ish blonde who had a power hungry look on her face. The following conversation ensued.

Sam's Clerk: Can I see your Sam's card and ID?
Jess: Yes, here it is.
SC: (Looking at drivers license then starts peeling at it.) I can't sell you alcohol with this ID.
Jess: You're joking right?
SC: No, I do not joke about such manners as alcohol sales.
Jess: Why not sell it to me?
SC: It is peeling apart here, you could tamper with the picture.
Jess: (Looking at driver's license, which expires in February) Ma'am it was good enough to get this Sam's club card issued to me, but not good enough to buy alcohol? That does not make sense.
SC: Well, I am not going to accept it.
Jess: (A little frustrated) Ma'am, I believe a fake ID maker would have done far better than this. I hear those guys take a lot of pride in their work. This is falling apart it must be a government made one.
SC: I will not sell alcohol to you, your ID card does not appear to be valid.
Jess: Well it was good enough for the Arizona State Patrol last week, when they stopped me for speeding.
SC: Sir, I am sure it is valid but I won't sell to anyone who I can peel their driver's license apart.
Jess: Fine, can I speak to your manager, it amazes me that you all have double standards on your photo identification process.
SC: I am the manager.
Jess: No way, really?
SC: Does this surprise you?
Jess: Naw, I guess I kinda saw it coming. Where did you get your management training?
SC: Well, I used to work at Baskin Robbins.
Jess: Well, I guess have a nice day.
SC: Look, I am sorry, but I can't sell you alcohol with a driver's license like that.
Jess: That is fine, I will buy it other places. Ma'am have you checked your driver's license lately?
SC: For what?
Jess: Peeling of course.

All this could have been avoided had I just gone through Kelley's (The brunette I bought from the other day) lane. No more shortcuts for me. I bought the alcohol at Walgreen's where they love me.



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