Thursday, December 09, 2004
Public Service Announcement
Following Charlie's lead, here is my PSA.

Do not starch your underwear. It is quite itchy.

The story behind this goes as follows. When I was in college I met a young lady. She worked at a place that required business attire. (That was a foreign idea to me at the time.) She and I became friends, one night she stayed over at my apartment. She had mentioned the night before that she needed to get up early so she could starch and iron her business suit. I tried to get her up but could not. Being the way I am I thought I would help her out and starch and iron her clothes.

Fifteen minutes and a trip to the store later I had starch in hand. I then figured out how to plug in the iron fill it with water etc. I started ironing away, got her clothes ready to go, made her some instant coffee, and finally awakened her. She put on her clothes, everything seemed fine.

I received a phone call that night. I could not figure out whether she was mad or was laughing at me too much to be mad. She informed me that she appreciated my gesture but in the future never to iron a lady's thong again, that it had itched so much that she had been forced to throw it away. I told her that I would have starched the bra but it was too hard to iron with the metal things in it. She lost it with laughter and told me that I was destined for bachelority for life. I did not know what that meant but I guess 6 years later I am beginning to understand.

To conclude, I bought her a new thong, gave up on ironing, and now have a dry cleaner that knows me quite well. My advice to you, my lovely readers.... NEVER STARCH YOUR UNDERWEAR.

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