Thursday, January 20, 2005
Conversations with clerks volume 5
Clerk: Hi, and welcome to McDonalds, order when you are ready.

Me: I am ready, boy am I ready.

Clerk: What can I get you?

Me: I will take 12 McRib sandwiches with no onions or pickles....

Clerk: Anything else?

Me: Yes, a diet coke.

Clerk: For here or to go?

Me: Do I look like I am prepared to eat 12 McRibs in one sitting?

Clerk: Uh?

Me: I mean I no brown is not the most slimming of colors and all but do I look that fat?

Clerk: Uh?

Me: I mean obviously I am watching my calorie intake, I ordered a diet coke.

Clerk: Uh... OK.

Me: I am just stoked about the return of the McRib and want to enjoy its savory barbecue flavor all the time.

Clerk: OK....

Me: Have you ever tried one? They are delicious.

Clerk: OK man, I get it. You like the McRib.

Me: Like it, let me tell you something sister, I love it.

Clerk: Are you a secret shopper or something?

Me: Nope, I am a fan of your product though.

Clerk: OK.... Your total is........

Me: Worth every penny. I'd like to see those bastards at burger king try to keep up with these McRibs though eh?

Clerk: Yea, they are pricks over there man. I effing hate them.

Me: Thats the kind of company loyalty we like to see.

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