Monday, February 28, 2005
Conversation with a rude ass Chef Instructor Vol. 1
I signed up to take this take a Cajun Cooking class, but canceled as work and grad school applications had gotten out of hand. I called three hours apologizing on the machine that I had to cancel and could I have a refund or use the money for another class. Five hours later, the chef instructor calls back and the following conversation occurs..

Me: Hello, I am sorry, but work came up and you understand.

Chef: Well, not really. I am doing this for public relations. I look at it as theatre tickets.

Me: I understand your point and I am sorry, is it possible for me to have a refund or use it towards another class.

Chef: Well, you can use it for another night.

Me: Thank you and again I am sorry.

Chef: Seriously, you cancel at the last minute after we cook the food for a sold out class.

Chef: click, he hangs up on me!

I knew that I could lose my money, but I just needed to be home tonight and get my schmack together. However, don't hang up on me, especially since you are trying to build public relations! I guess I have a phone call tomorrow to make to the manager.

You are

What Rejected Crayon Are You?


You Are From Saturn

You're steady, organized, and determined to achieve your dreams.
You tend to play it conservative, going by the rules (at least the practical ones).
You'll likely reach the top. And when you do, you'll be honorable and responsible.
Focus on happiness. Don't let your goals distract you from fun!
Don't be too set in your ways, and you'll be more of a success than you ever dreamed of.


Jackstands? Who needs 'em? Posted by Hello
Sunday, February 27, 2005
Posting That Silly "5th Sentance" Meme
Your modified AGI falls between $45,000 and $55,000 when you're single, or between $65,000 and $75,000 when you're married filing jointly or a qualified widow or widower.

Now guess what book was on the desk next to me when I got the call to "Try this...."

Priceless Posted by Hello
Our man in Hannity
Author, broadcaster, freeper, and pimp.... Yes, kids Hannity has a dating site.

My favorite ad.


Name: Dave
Location: OR
Age: 40

My name is Dave, 40 years old, 6-1, 200 lbs, single, I live and work in Junction City, Oregon… yes there are nice, smart… red people that live around Eugene Oregon! All I want from this is to kill deer with Ann Coulter someday…

Friday, February 25, 2005
Try this ....
1.Grab the nearest book.
2.Open the book to page 123.
3.Find the fifth sentence.
4.Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
5.Don’t search around and look for the “coolest” book you can find. Do what’s actually next to you.

From Reader's Digest Complete Guide to Needlework:
"A second color can be easily introduced into either pattern by alternating the color of yarn used for the rows."

via Blog d'Elisson via Goose
Visual aids....
Fuck 'em if they can not take a joke.... Joke 'em if they can not take a fuck.

<------------- That's where I keep my vagina.

For those of you that do not get it, well, I am sorry, I guess you have never seen my living room layout.

Ladies can say.

That's where I can keep my vagina.

Makes me think..... Regular like

Avedon is probably the most prolific and the most thought provoking blogger in the sphere today.

Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke. Joke 'em if they can't take a fuck.
Thursday, February 24, 2005
And on his farm he had some detractors....
Eeh aye eeh aye oh.
Translate away
Text message to C. today

Si tu fueras una rosa, yo quiecera un petalo. Para estar junto esa hermosa rosa.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005
A note
I am a lousy piece of ass.... believe me I know I have been there most of the times.
I feel like a little debate
So...... Jeremy? DC? Teach? Goomba? I challenge any and all... You pick the topic, I will trackback, lets have some fun. Game on.

I am not scared.
Conversations with Pears volume 15




Pear: Enough already I pick Jeopardy, no more Everybody Loves Raymond. That fucker whines incessantly. Quit fucking flipping channels.
Wildlife in Action - Jordan Valley
This is a great thing about blogging, you can learn so many things about the world!
(JPEG Image, 640x480 pixels)

From:jerusalem wanderings
Tuesday, February 22, 2005
A man walks to a fork....

The easy road or the hard one? Which one is the best? Which one pays in the end? Which one does she wait at the end of? Which one is for me? Which is for you? What does it really matter? Why not?
Reports from a wannabe Gonzo journalist volume 1
Years ago working a summer for a construction company on a project in South Texas, I finished the project about two weeks before school started back again, I joined the party culture of South Texas. At the time I was 21 waiting to go back to school, and up for anything.

We were staying in McAllen, TX approximately 1/4 mile from Reynosa Mexico. I had never really been to Mexico, but I decided why not. So, we went, and we partied, we had fun, I fell in love, nightly, with a different girl and probably had some of the best times of my life.

I had plenty of money I had been making $14.00 an hour and working 80 hours a week. I was also paid a perdiem of $80.00 a day. The assistant superintendent whom we will call Paul and I had rented a trailer for $125.00 a month. He and I had become very good friends so he decided to stay after the job was done until I had to go back to school.

I met a beautiful mexican woman by the name of Erica, whose father owned about an eighth of Mexico. She and I hit it off, remarkably well. We just clicked, the whiskey and tequila flowed. Our love bloomed. Erica and I went out one night, after many coctails she offered me the world, I took the whiskey.

She had to go to her apartment to freshen up, I went to my rented trailer to wait. Paul offered me a shot of whiskey, I accepted. Then 5 shots later, I could barely walk and Paul or Pablo as he was known in those parts was gone. I was dying of thirst, my pants were falling down, I made it to the sink. My pants dropped, I held my head under the water drinking deeply. I heard the screen door open then the main door.

Her: "Oh my god Jesse are you fucking the sink?"
Me: "No, but if you had not arrived I might have fucked the bush out there hoping there was a rabbit."
Her: "Jesse, when was the last time you ate?"
Me: "A few days ago."
Her: "You need to eat every day."
Me: "Tell Pablo. That fucker is a bad influence."
Her: "Let's move to Mexico."
Me: "I speak just enough spanish to get us both thrown in jail."
Her: "I speak good spanish.:
Me: "OK, can you help me with my pants they are down. I need some help. BTW you are hot."
Her: OK, lets get them up. Finish your water."
Me: "I have been drinking water for about 20 minutes."

I have been fucked up many times in my life. Never as fucked up as I was before I went to McAllen. If life were fair I would live in McAllen, and Hunter S. Thompson would have been elected sheriff of Putz County CO.

The whiskey haze lifted and Erica's dad told me that he would kill me, yet the trip seemed so worthwhile. I had the time of my life, I feared nothing, except diseases, and somehow made a shitpotload of money. FUCK IT. LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO CARE.

Monday, February 21, 2005
Farewell Good Doctor, Farewell.

Maybe this is all pure gibberish – a product of the demented imagination of a lazy drunken hillbilly with a heart full of hate who has found out a way to live out there where the real winds blow - to sleep late, have fun, get wild, drink whiskey and ride fast on empty streets with nothing in mind except falling in love and not getting arrested…

Hunter S. Thompson
from Generation of Swine, Posted by Hello
Fear and Loathing in the blogosphere
Today, the Panzer-like Bush machine controls all three branches of our federal government, the first time that has happened since Calvin Coolidge was in the White House. And that makes it just about impossible to mount any kind of Congressional investigation of a firmly-entrenched president like George Bush. The time has come to get deeply into football. It is the only thing we have left that ain't fixed.

From Hunter S. Thompson's page 2 column 9-Nov-2004

Sunday, February 20, 2005
Conversations with On-Line Dating Jerks Part Two
Jerk: i bet you are wild inside, Penny

Bad Penny: bet? money?

Jerk: sure

Bad Penny: i dont bet. its part of my tame and non-wild nature

Jerk: may i ask a risque quetion? (sic)

Bad Penny: can you handle a sarcastic and caustic response?

Jerk: dont answer questions with shows weakness

Bad Penny: oh then let me rephrase so I do not appear weak: If you can handle a sarcastic and caustic answer... then you can ask the question

Jerk: i ony require an and true (sic)

Bad Penny: I have to wonder what would make you think you could require anything at all? Do you suppose that I am so interested in what your question will be that I will promise to answer just to hear it?

Jerk: question and analysis needed

Bad Penny: shoot

Jerk: stop being afraid

Bad Penny: Was that a question?

Jerk: forget it....

Bad Penny: ok

Jerk: it was a sexy question

Bad Penny: Yes you've mentioned that bit.

Jerk: ready?

Bad Penny: go

Jerk: thong or full...shaved or bush?

Bad Penny: is that really it?

Jerk: another question

Bad Penny: So soon?

Jerk: just answer if you can

Bad Penny: I'll do my best

Jerk: and?

Bad Penny: I thought you were asking another question...

Jerk: yahoo me

Bad Penny: yahoo you? Hip hip horay!

Jerk: just the original question

Bad Penny: Was that a question about what kind of underwear I have on right this very second or what kind do I usually wear?

Jerk: another question

Bad Penny: ok, I was justing getting used to the first one but go ahead ~

Jerk: list them

Bad Penny: them?

Jerk: ba anal ytical (sic i think but who knows?)

Bad Penny: Whoa. Maybe it's me but I have no earthy idea what that means.

Jerk: Thong sometimes?

Bad Penny: Underwear again... This I understand. Yes. Thong most times. That way my ass looks good.

Jerk: full sometimes?

Bad Penny: Occaisionally when its necessary. Will there be a grade at the end of this quiz?

Jerk: and then the rest of the question

Bad Penny: How I keep my pubic hair is really a personal issue and not really your business. Furthermore, its rather rude to ask a woman something like that. Not to mention the total lack of any chance you'd ever be able to verify the factual/truthfulness of my answer anyway.

Jerk: at leat you didnt ask a question (sic)

Bad Penny: Perhaps theres something redeeming to be said for me then

Jerk: i prefer shaveds

Bad Penny: I prefer gentlemen

This Has Been a True & Correct Re-Telling of an Actual Event ~ I'm Bad Penny
Conversations with Clerks volume 6
At a local convenience store, in which I shop regularly.

Clerk: Did you have gas?

Me: No gas.

Clerk: Are you sure?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: Why are you wearing flip flops in February?

Me: What? It is February? I laid down in July, to take a nap, now you are telling me that it is February. Shit.

Clerk: Have you been in a coma or something?

Me: Nope, but I do enjoy a nap.

Clerk: Are you joking?

Me: No. I am just hoping that my girlfriend has not dumped me. Being asleep that long must have been hard on her though.

Clerk: You are joking right?

Me: Damn, my license plate expired in September.

Clerk: I wonder how you survived that long?

Me: I guess it was a hibernation thing similar to bears, I ate well before my nap though.

Clerk: Wow. ( Getting excited)

Me: Dude, relax, I just did not feel like putting on socks this morning.

Clerk: So, you were fucking with me?

Me: Most likely.

Clerk: That is not cool man.

Me: Sorry.

Clerk: Do you mind if I use that to mess with people that I have not seen in a while.

Me: Give 'em hell.

Clerk: I like that.

Me: I am glad you do Frenchie, you are going to be ok kid.

Clerk: Do you have any one liners I can borrow?

Me: None that have any usefulness, the only ones I know are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

Clerk: Damn, I wish you knew some, that I could borrow.

Me: Today is not my day I guess. I am hell when I am well, but I am sick a lot you know?

Clerk: See you later balla.

Me: Aight. (Under my breath) Fucking moron.
about Friday
Anyone know what I did on Friday night after about 11:00 PM? My memory is a bit impaired.

I know I wasn't at this club~

I wasn't here either.~
Jeff Gannon's problem
Jeff forgot that the pen (keyboard) is mightier* than the penil sword.


Jeff Gannon and Karl Rove Attended the Same "School"; Or, "The Best Theory Yet for How Gannon Got Hired By GOPUSA and Karl Rove Got In Touch With Him"

HT / Rainstorm

Andy Griffith ponders Don Knotts and protective suits. Posted by Hello
Saturday, February 19, 2005
What do you do with good ole boys like me?
When I was in school I ran with kid down the street

But I watched him burn himself up on bourbon and speed

But I was smarter than most and I could choose

Learned to talk like the man on the six o'clock news

When I was eighteen, Lord, I hit the road

But it really doesn't matter how far I go*

Intentionally empty
Thursday, February 17, 2005
Abbey Quote
"Our 'neoconservatives' are neither new nor conservative, but old as Babylon and evil as Hell"

Edward Abbey 1927 -1989

Wednesday, February 16, 2005
Conversations about Selling the House, Part 1
Neighbor: So, how come you're moving?

Me: Somebody down the street put up one of those Bush 04 signs in their yard last year.

Neighbor: Yeah?

Me: We don't think that's an appropriate environment in which to raise young children.

Neighbor: Yeah?

Me: You know, neighbors who openly support war criminals. What does that tell our kids about values?
This is a Guy Who REALLY Wants His Drugs

Actor Tom Sizemore has been jailed for violating his probation by failing a drug test after he was caught trying to use a prosthetic penis to fake the results, a Los Angeles County prosecutor said on Friday.

Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Conversations with Pears Volume 14
Me: So, how was your Valentines Day?


Me: You mad at me or something?


Me: Talk to me man.

Pear: Sorry Dawg, was recovering from last night having a little nap.

Me: Ah. My sincere apologies, sorry to wake you. It is hard to tell if you are sleeping without eyes and all.

Pear: Yeah, I know. This aint my first rodeo.


Pear: That Tina the Orange, damn she rocked my world.

Me: Cool.

Pear: I wonder what our kids would look like?

Me: A little strange, but might be tasty.

Pear: I thought you and I were friends. What the fuck? You are talking about eating my offspring. Those are fighting words.

Me: How do you know you empregnated her?

Pear: Can we talk about something else, this is awkward.

Me: Yeah, how about tacos. I love tacos. I had them again today.

Pear: Dude you are obsessed with tacos or is it the taco server?


Pear: Your nonanswer answers my question.

Me: Your probably right.

Pear: C. is hot. I like her, she is sweet to me.

Me: You talk to C.?

Pear: Indeed. I talk to a lot of people
About Last Night
I have to apologize. I was so busy blogging last night, I completely forgot it was chat night at LOSLI. Hope I didn't miss anything really ugly.

But hey, it's been an interesting couple of days at Rain Storm. I got a comment from Billmon. I tipped off the General that Jeff Gannon was into nude wrestling. Then I got 2 (count 'em, 2) links from Avedon in the same afternoon.

Bartender, bring me another imperial pint of that Mendocino Red.
Conversations With a 4 Year Old
#4: Momma! The lawyers are coming!

Bad Penny: The Lawyers are coming?

#4: Yes! You better hide.

Bad Penny: I need to hide from the lawyers?

#4: Yes. They will kill us.

Bad Penny: The lawyers are gonna kill us!?!

#4: Duh. They have swords. And swords are VERY dangerous. You better hide.

Bad Penny: I guess I better hide.

#4: Yes.

This has been a bit of my day ~ I'm Bad Penny
OK Kids......
I am travelling for work during the next couple of days so, posting will be light, if any.

A quick story.....
One cold snowy February, a woman's water broke, and now I am here. The date February 16, 1979. Damn, I am getting old.

You guys have fun.
Monday, February 14, 2005
Feliz dia de San Valentino
Happy Valentines Day.

My day blow blow by blow.

8:10 AM- 1 Dozen Roses delivered to C. at her work.

9:00 AM- I arrive at C.'s work delivering 2 dozen roses, a box of choolates, and bath set smelling of chocolate tofu (fondue). She cries. I give my girl a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I eat breakfast with one of my friends from work.

11:30 AM- I eat lunch at C.'s work. This makes 4 tacos today.

2:20 PM- Three dozen roses arrive via one of my coworkers. She calls me saying that she has had the best V-Day ever. She tells me she loves me. I tell her not to let the flowers impair her judgement, she says she is not impaired but that she loves me.

5:10 PM- I call her when I leave work. She asks me why I take such good care of her. I tell her that she deserves it. She cries again.

7:00 PM- I leave the gym, we have dinner. She is indeed the girl of my dreams.

8:00 PM - I tell the girl of my dreams that she is the girl of my dreams,. She cries again, I hold her, she tells me that she has never met a guy like me. I tell her that I truly do care about her as well.

9:00 PM- I tell her that can not spend tonight alone. She agrees, she is on her way, tonight will be good.

I am the luckiest man in the world. Happy Valentines Day.

*Update 2*
Did you miss me? I missed you guys.
Have a blog, lose your job?
NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - Mark Jen landed a dream job with Google Inc. in January. He was fired less than a month later.

His infraction? He ran a Web log, where he freely gabbed about his impressions of life at the Mountain View, Calif.-based Internet search giant.
And people wonder why I remain anonyous.
Sunday, February 13, 2005
Valentines day shopping
I'm going. I bought C.some stuff in Phoenix, but want to make this the best V-Day she has ever had. So..... Charge. I am off, roses, candy, and other stuff on my list. Beware weary storekeepers, because the kid is on a mission.
Saturday, February 12, 2005
You know you got it bad.......
Last night I went to a Phoenix strip club, with some customers and a friend of mine. I have spent numerous nights in my career in strip clubs, so this is not a new thing for me. I guess what was different was last night I compared all the women to C., and must say they paled in comparison to her.

Midnight cell phone conversation with C.

Me: (As I search for ringing phone through beer induced haze) Hey, sweetie.

C.: Hi. Whats up?

Me: Not sure. I just got back to my hotel room.

C.: You crack me up.

Me: I am lost. What is so funny?

C.: You. I can just see you in a strip club, must have been like a kid in a candy store.

Me: Naw, more like a guy in a strip club.

C.: Very funny.

Me: BTW, you are the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world. I can confidently say that, I saw a lot of naked ones tonight.... and you are more beautiful.

C.: Mi loco gringo.... (Laughing) You have had way too much to drink.

Me: Yes, but you are still the most beautiful woman in the world.

C.: Jess, you need some sleep, you are obviously dillusional.

Me: I will say the same thing dead sober, you are wonderful, beautiful, sexy, and the best girl in the whole wide world.

C.: Your kinda sweet when you been drinking. I will get some beer for my refridgerator.

Me: Hmm.

C.: So, how much have you had to drink?

Me: I dunno, I lost count at six.

C.: You gonna be ok?

Me: Honey, I am going to be perfect, I just got to speak to the best girl in the world.

C.: Now, I am blushing.

Me: It is dark, nobody will know.

C.: Goodnight mi amor.

Me: Goodnight C. Hey, where in the hell is the light switch?

C. I dunno honey. Dream of me tonight, OK?

Me: Yes ma'am. I hope to find the light switch soon.
Friday, February 11, 2005
Music to Blog By
Wandering through the left blogosphere, I stopped by Natalie Davis' site. She was one of the first bloggers to ever link to Rain Storm, and I check in from time to time to see what she's up to.

Natalie had this link for the music of her site. So I checked it out and discovered that you can (sort of) create you own on-line mix of music via Yahoo!. Now Rain Storm has done it, too.

You can listen to the Rain Storm station here.

Now, we should have a disclaimer here. These aren't exactly the songs that I'd be playing if I were a full-time DJ with nothing else to do with my time.

What Yahoo! does is have you rate a whole bunch of artists, albums, and songs, and then they make some assuptions about what you would like. But over the long haul, the Rain Storm station does end up playing much of the music I like to listen to. And if they play something that I never want to hear again, I get to tell them that, too.

They're assuming two things. The first is that, before long, I'll upgrade to the premium service and pay them $30 bucks a year for it. The second is that, based on my feedback, they'll play some songs I've never heard before, and maybe I'll buy some of them.

In my case, at some point I may shell out thirty bucks for the premium (commercial free) service. I doubt that I'm going to be buying much this year. But who knows?

Anyway, if you want to hear what I've been listing to, you can click here to hear my own personal station. Enjoy.
Thursday, February 10, 2005
Conversations with Pears Volume 13
Pear: Nice to see you decided to come back.

Me: Yeah.

Pear: Where in the Blue Hell were you?

Me: I have been traveling, I was in Denver for work.

Pear: What you think I have something against the Rocky Mountains?

Me: Uh.....

Pear: You did not even ask, would it hurt to ask me to come along?

Me: Uh.... Sorry, dawg.

Pear: Well, are you here to stay for a while?

Me: No, I leave tomorrow.

Pear: Where now you wannabe fucking globe-trotter?

Me: Phoenix.

Pear: Can I come?

Me: Sure, why not?

Pear: Booyaa. Hell mo fuckin yes.... I am going on a trip.

Me: Cool, we'll leave tomorrow.

Pear: Aight then, I gotta get packed.

Me: Never pack until the day you leave.

Pear: Why?

Me: It is bad luck if you pack pre-emptively.

Pear: Ok, then I will pack in the morning.

Me: Cool, I am tired, I am going to bed.

Pear: Check you later big guy.
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
Can anyone guess the color scheme? It is a tiny bit tricky "complicated" by Erica Voges Posted by Hello

Tuesday, February 08, 2005
Let's give it a caption

Thanks to brother John

Monday, February 07, 2005
Pajama Party X6

Oh my..... Look at Jenn.

Lucky fucking trucker. Thats all. Posted by Hello
Go Fly A Kite!
Remember when "Go fly a kite!" was just an innocuous way to say "buzz off", or "get lost", or "bite me, moron"?

Well now it's apparently a DEATH THREAT. 19 DEAD in Pakistan's kite flying festival? Is this a joke? I mean come on... You've got to be kidding, right? Clink that link and read the details, which include killer kite string neck slashings, random gun fire, and a soccer like death trampling to catch a stray kite. That's right seven people died trying to catch a stray kite.

This is not kite flying as I recall it. Maybe I never did it right.
Simple Rule

If you are married and insist on cyber-cheating . . . try to make sure the person on the other end is not your own spouse.

monday monday
Apparently Jess doesn’t like my pajama entry so I’ll leave you with this thought…

I don’t want to grow up if it means that I have no fun. I like being pushed in a cart at Home Depot. I like playing in the dirt. I like destroying drywall. I giggle over the silliest things and “adults” look at me like I’m a 5 year old. Lighten up… enjoy it while it lasts folks.


You will find me at the links, quite regularly.... Posted by Hello
Sunday, February 06, 2005
Pulp fiction blogging
What Pulp Fiction Character Are You?

You are the king of smooth -- enough said.

Take the What Pulp Fiction Character Are You? quiz.

Via Julie..... My 3rd link to her today.

Bonus Pajama Blogging

Because I can, Julie with a B. She is indeed a very beautiful woman, or as hot as Phoenix pavement in July. Posted by Hello
What I'm Eating
Tortilla Flat Enchiladas

How you can eat them, too:
Get a pasta bowl -- something about six inches in diameter and 3 inches deep.

Place a corn tortilla in the bowl.

Cut a slice off of a red onion. Dice the slice.

Put a fourth of the diced red onion on the tortilla.

Open a can of green chile enchilada sauce (I like Hatch or Maccayo brands -- you decide how spicy you like it).

Pour some sauce on the tortilla and onion.

Grate some cheddar cheese over the tortilla, onion and sauce (I prefer sharp cheddar -- you may not)

Put another corn tortilla on the pile and do it all again.

Continue until you have 4 layers of tortilla, diced onion, enchilada sauce, and cheese.

Cover with a plate and nuke it until the cheese melts and the tortillas are soft (that's about 2 minutes and 15 seconds in my microwave -- your mileage may vary)

When done, remove from microwave -- CAREFUL, IT'S HOT! -- uncover and eat.

It washes down well with some Four Peaks Amber or Railhead Red. Feel free to choose your own personal favorite beverage.
Have a nice lunch, breakfast, dinner, Super Bowl Snack, whatever.

Best line of the day, so far....
From HelloPhotoKitty about the Pope.

But I think that this man is the Hummer of Popes! He's been shot (once? twice?) and when he gets sick, all the cardinals are ready to pick out his funeral attire, but then something happens, and he bounces back! I guess its all those carbs in Polish cooking that keeps him kicking around.
I literally laughed so hard it made my stomach hurt.

Interesting advertising opportunity.

Found following one of Ginger's links.

Superbowl blogging
I am officially cheering for the Patriots. They are the quintessential blue collar team, full of everyday guys, full of pride.

When ESPN showed the Eagle cheerleaders, and the Patriot cheerleaders, I must say that the Lady Pats, are far hotter than the Eaglettes or whatever they call themselves. I am a brunette man, though so my preference may be skewed.

Don't bet against Tom Brady in February.

Pajama Party X4

Julie with a B.... Her beauty writes a far better caption than I can. Posted by Hello
Saturday, February 05, 2005
Tild~ makes a fashion statement

Yep. Cold nights out there on the prairie. But I think pants aren't exactly what I'm lookin' for to keep me warm.

Faith-Based Marketing
Two beggars were sitting side by side on a street in Mexico City. One had a cross in front of him; the other, the Star of David.

Many people went by and looked at both beggars, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.

A passing priest stopped to observe as throngs of people gave money to the beggar behind the cross, but none to the beggar behind the Star of David.

Finally the priest approached the beggar behind the Star of David and said:
"My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a Catholic country. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially when you're sitting right beside a beggar who has a cross.

In fact, they might just give to him out of spite."
The beggar behind the Star of David turned to the beggar with the cross and says,
"Moishe, look who's here to teach the Levine Brothers about marketing!"
[Thanks to Lonesome Cowboy Burt]

Tales from the mean streets of Palm Springs.

Can I be your assistant ma'am? Posted by Hello
Pajama Party X3

The ever lovely Ms. Ginger. Posted by Hello

Thursday, February 03, 2005
Conversations With My Project Manager... about The Bartender
J... says:
well, what do you want from him?
Bad Penny... says:
undying love and devotion, total honesty and commitment and the ability to leave me the hell alone if I change my mind, clean-ness to the nth degree, gifts, and the ability to love me totally today and not cry a single tear tomorrow if I end up with My Boy
Bad Penny... says:
sex which is ALL ME
Bad Penny... says:
foot rubs
Bad Penny... says:
Bad Penny... says:
is there more?
Bad Penny... says:
J... says:

I am impressed
Bad Penny... says:
J... says:
you are really in tune with what you want
Bad Penny... says:
omgosh how funny
J... says:
that was just flat out the most honest thing I've ever heard
J... says:
Bad Penny... says:
J... says:
girl, you are really incredible
Bad Penny... says:
are you kidding?
J... says:
here's what most women say:

"I don't know"
J... says:
I'm not kidding a bit
Bad Penny... says:

that's what I say to HIM

it makes him crazy
J... says:
tell him what you told me

don't be ashamed of it
Bad Penny... says:
I can not do that
J... says:
he may try to make you ashamed of it, but don't be

So the question wise friends is this: Should Bad Penny just tell this to The Bartender or is J off his ever lovin' rocker?

Got a question for you
Thanks for the entertainement guys!

My view of the US is very subjective. My idea of the US comes, from american friends, from non-american friends, from american TV (from HBO to CNN), from world events (war, space,etc.) and from the world around me (different countries). Of course all of this information that i get is processed by my own experience, my own background and my own believes of how life should be.

What I think of the Republicans or Democrates (i always mix up who is who) is shaped through what is going on on the international level. What i want to know is what happens in the US. having different parties, does it affect the way americans live their life?

(ok i am a teacher, so obviously my first question is about this)

-Is there a difference in the school system since Bush is there? what is ur drop out rate? Does everyone has access to higher education if they wanted to? do kids with special needs get help? and can they AFFORD it?

-How about homeless people, or people with very low income, any of the parties care about them?

-financial aid for small entreprise?

-etc. etc. I hope you get my question, i am a bit in a rush, i need to get to work, but i really wanted to know if you are satisfied with what the gov. gives you directly. and if not, how should it be?
(let me know if it is not clear. )

Wednesday, February 02, 2005
Did you know:
Feb 13 is national "Blame someone else" day?


Jess is busy and asked me to post . . . And there is this one of my wife. [STRIKEN . . . SHE'S NOT LIKING IT!] Forgive me, but it is the closest thing to a PJ pic that Caity would allow.

And then, only because she was asleep at the time.

I have no idea how to fix this formatting stuff. So, from now on, LOSLI is a formless blog of personal freedom.

If you cannot navigate it, it is because you are not adequate to the task, and should be culled from the gene pool.

Conversations with Pears Volume 12
Me: Nice day today eh?

Pear: Yup.

Me: So, how is life?

Pear: It's OK.

Me: You know that pears are used in baby food a lot.



Pear: So, what are you getting at?

Me: Nothing.....

Pear: You are implying something. What is the story?

Me: No story.

Pear: Where is my Diet Dew, bitch?

Me: Uh..... I am not sure, but I think they have them at the gerber plant?

Pear: Funny big guy. You trying to threaten me?


Pear: I have some big friends. Look at Ruben Stoddard he is a pear.

Me: Huh?

Pear: Have you seen him?

Me: Yes, he was on American Idol.

Pear: He is a pear? Look at him. He is shaped like me? We are cousins.

Me: I always thought Clay Aiken was the fruit.

Tuesday, February 01, 2005
Paging Ralph......
It appears as if the American Warmonger (Pajamamonger) does not like the left. He seems to want to debate the Democrats.

So, here is my full rebuttal to what he said. This is not a personal attack on Jeremy, I consider him a friend. I have read his blog for a long time, and agree with a lot of what he says.

Open letter to American War Monger

Mr. Bol,

Let me preface this by saying that I am not a traditional Democrat. I am a new school Democrat, I believe in giving all people a chance, I believe in working across party lines after the election. I believe that all people should have a shot at being the best that they can be.

Lets look at your post, and I will do my best to explain, agree, or just shrug.

Bush is Hitler.

My response simple political rhetoric. What about John Effin Kerry, or The Swift Boat Vets, saying that Kerry did not serve his country honorably. I know this must have offended you, being that you too are a vet. This bothered you right? A smear campaign against a man that did nothing but serve his country by choice, a smear campaign that made a the public hate a fellow veteran? It bothered me. I know Bush and Co. Never officially endorsed the swiftboat vets and their behavior, but nor did Kerry endorse This election became a mudslinging contest, there was no dignity, nor honor in either of the campaigns. "Bush is Hitler" is a terrible thing to say about anyone, let alone a sitting president of the United States.

Iraq is Vietnam.

Yes, and Kosovo was Normandy. Seriously, we need to get past all of this partisan bullshit, and get our soldiers home. I do not care if you are the Hawkiest Hawk, our mission is done. We helped rid the Middle East of an enemy, gave the people of Iraq, an election, and now we need to give them their country. Otherwise it may become Vietnam

I hate all Republicans

Extremist nuts on both sides of the fence claim to hate the other party. I would say a majority of the people in both parties have beliefs at least some that fit the other party better than the one they are in. I do not hate republicans, a lot of what they used to stand for was great. The Republican party as well as the Democratic party are both hard to be moderate in. You are chastised by the base. I really don't hate anyone, regardless of beliefs, sexual orientation, what they did with their body, or which political party they belong to... That is why I am a Democrat.

Respectfully Submitted,


Lombardi's Speech.....
"I don't say these things because I believe in the "brute" nature of man or that men must be brutalized to be combative. I believe in God, and I believe in human decency. But I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, the greatest fulfillment of all that he holds dear, is that moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle — victorious."

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