Sunday, February 20, 2005
Conversations with Clerks volume 6
At a local convenience store, in which I shop regularly.

Clerk: Did you have gas?

Me: No gas.

Clerk: Are you sure?

Me: Yes.

Clerk: Why are you wearing flip flops in February?

Me: What? It is February? I laid down in July, to take a nap, now you are telling me that it is February. Shit.

Clerk: Have you been in a coma or something?

Me: Nope, but I do enjoy a nap.

Clerk: Are you joking?

Me: No. I am just hoping that my girlfriend has not dumped me. Being asleep that long must have been hard on her though.

Clerk: You are joking right?

Me: Damn, my license plate expired in September.

Clerk: I wonder how you survived that long?

Me: I guess it was a hibernation thing similar to bears, I ate well before my nap though.

Clerk: Wow. ( Getting excited)

Me: Dude, relax, I just did not feel like putting on socks this morning.

Clerk: So, you were fucking with me?

Me: Most likely.

Clerk: That is not cool man.

Me: Sorry.

Clerk: Do you mind if I use that to mess with people that I have not seen in a while.

Me: Give 'em hell.

Clerk: I like that.

Me: I am glad you do Frenchie, you are going to be ok kid.

Clerk: Do you have any one liners I can borrow?

Me: None that have any usefulness, the only ones I know are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.

Clerk: Damn, I wish you knew some, that I could borrow.

Me: Today is not my day I guess. I am hell when I am well, but I am sick a lot you know?

Clerk: See you later balla.

Me: Aight. (Under my breath) Fucking moron.

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