Sunday, February 20, 2005
Conversations with Clerks volume 6
At a local convenience store, in which I shop regularly.
Clerk: Did you have gas?
Me: No gas.
Clerk: Are you sure?
Clerk: Why are you wearing flip flops in February?
Me: What? It is February? I laid down in July, to take a nap, now you are telling me that it is February. Shit.
Clerk: Have you been in a coma or something?
Me: Nope, but I do enjoy a nap.
Clerk: Are you joking?
Me: No. I am just hoping that my girlfriend has not dumped me. Being asleep that long must have been hard on her though.
Clerk: You are joking right?
Me: Damn, my license plate expired in September.
Clerk: I wonder how you survived that long?
Me: I guess it was a hibernation thing similar to bears, I ate well before my nap though.
Clerk: Wow. ( Getting excited)
Me: Dude, relax, I just did not feel like putting on socks this morning.
Clerk: So, you were fucking with me?
Me: Most likely.
Clerk: That is not cool man.
Clerk: Do you mind if I use that to mess with people that I have not seen in a while.
Me: Give 'em hell.
Clerk: I like that.
Me: I am glad you do Frenchie, you are going to be ok kid.
Clerk: Do you have any one liners I can borrow?
Me: None that have any usefulness, the only ones I know are about as useful as a screen door on a submarine.
Clerk: Damn, I wish you knew some, that I could borrow.
Me: Today is not my day I guess. I am hell when I am well, but I am sick a lot you know?
Clerk: See you later balla.
Me: Aight. (Under my breath) Fucking moron.