Saturday, February 12, 2005
You know you got it bad.......
Last night I went to a Phoenix strip club, with some customers and a friend of mine. I have spent numerous nights in my career in strip clubs, so this is not a new thing for me. I guess what was different was last night I compared all the women to C., and must say they paled in comparison to her.

Midnight cell phone conversation with C.

Me: (As I search for ringing phone through beer induced haze) Hey, sweetie.

C.: Hi. Whats up?

Me: Not sure. I just got back to my hotel room.

C.: You crack me up.

Me: I am lost. What is so funny?

C.: You. I can just see you in a strip club, must have been like a kid in a candy store.

Me: Naw, more like a guy in a strip club.

C.: Very funny.

Me: BTW, you are the most beautiful woman in the whole wide world. I can confidently say that, I saw a lot of naked ones tonight.... and you are more beautiful.

C.: Mi loco gringo.... (Laughing) You have had way too much to drink.

Me: Yes, but you are still the most beautiful woman in the world.

C.: Jess, you need some sleep, you are obviously dillusional.

Me: I will say the same thing dead sober, you are wonderful, beautiful, sexy, and the best girl in the whole wide world.

C.: Your kinda sweet when you been drinking. I will get some beer for my refridgerator.

Me: Hmm.

C.: So, how much have you had to drink?

Me: I dunno, I lost count at six.

C.: You gonna be ok?

Me: Honey, I am going to be perfect, I just got to speak to the best girl in the world.

C.: Now, I am blushing.

Me: It is dark, nobody will know.

C.: Goodnight mi amor.

Me: Goodnight C. Hey, where in the hell is the light switch?

C. I dunno honey. Dream of me tonight, OK?

Me: Yes ma'am. I hope to find the light switch soon.

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