Sunday, March 06, 2005
Conversations with my real estate agent volume 1
Sitting on a bench in the mall, talking about life and how it works....
Her: So, what is your type of woman?
Me: No particular type. I like cool ladies.
Her: OK, lets talk about women as they walk by.
Her: Look at her, she has cute pants.
Me: A 5'2" 200 pound girl should not wear pink see through pants with a black thong. It is not a flattering look.
Her: Oh my god. I can't believe you just said that. It is true but, damn.
Her: You will never get married. You are too picky.
Me: A man has to have his standards.
Her: What about her?
Me: Good body, but her face would make a freight train take a dirt road.
Her: (Laughing) This is fun.
Her: how about the one in pink?
Me: She is hot. She reminds me of Miami in July, hot and sultry...
Her: How is C.?
Me: Dunno. We are going through a battle of the wills....
Her: I will not ask.
Me: I will not tell.
Her: You look good in pink.
Me: I wear it to mess with people.
Her: You should buy more.
Her: I like spending time with you, it is fun and nonsexual.
Me: Don't let my pink shirt fool you.
Her: Jess, you are a one of a kind. If I was not married, and you were not Jess, we could be good.
Me: Well, I think the world of you too R. You are a good person with a beautiful smile.
Her: OK, how bout her?
Me: She should look for dates on Rednecksingles.com. A bath and some shampoo would help her immensely, as well.
Her: Jesse, Jesse, Jesse..... What am I gonna do with you?
Me: A lot of people like to kick me.
Her: I will keep that in mind.
Me: I talked to this girl, I am not sure who she was, but she called me early this morning like 3:00 am. I am not sure, though I think I pissed her off.
Me: She made some kind of comment about my choice in women....
Her: Like what?
Me: Well, she told me that I only liked big breasted latin women.
Her: Is that why I am your real estate agent?
Her: What did you tell her?
Me: I told her that I liked big breasted latin women far more than I like big assed caucasian women.
Her: Does she have a big ass?
Me: I am not sure, I do not know who it was.
Her: You should write a book.
Me: I will take that under consideration.