Sunday, March 06, 2005
 
Conversations with my real estate agent volume 1
Sitting on a bench in the mall, talking about life and how it works....

Her: So, what is your type of woman?

Me: No particular type. I like cool ladies.

Her: OK, lets talk about women as they walk by.

Me: OK.

Her: Look at her, she has cute pants.

Me: A 5'2" 200 pound girl should not wear pink see through pants with a black thong. It is not a flattering look.

Her: Oh my god. I can't believe you just said that. It is true but, damn.

Me: Well.

Her: You will never get married. You are too picky.

Me: A man has to have his standards.

Her: What about her?

Me: Good body, but her face would make a freight train take a dirt road.

Her: (Laughing) This is fun.

Me: OK.

Her: how about the one in pink?

Me: She is hot. She reminds me of Miami in July, hot and sultry...

Her: How is C.?

Me: Dunno. We are going through a battle of the wills....

Her: I will not ask.

Me: I will not tell.

Her: You look good in pink.

Me: I wear it to mess with people.

Her: You should buy more.

Me: OK.

Her: I like spending time with you, it is fun and nonsexual.

Me: Don't let my pink shirt fool you.

Her: Jess, you are a one of a kind. If I was not married, and you were not Jess, we could be good.

Me: Well, I think the world of you too R. You are a good person with a beautiful smile.

Her: OK, how bout her?

Me: She should look for dates on Rednecksingles.com. A bath and some shampoo would help her immensely, as well.

Her: Jesse, Jesse, Jesse..... What am I gonna do with you?

Me: A lot of people like to kick me.

Her: I will keep that in mind.

Me: I talked to this girl, I am not sure who she was, but she called me early this morning like 3:00 am. I am not sure, though I think I pissed her off.

Her: How?

Me: She made some kind of comment about my choice in women....

Her: Like what?

Me: Well, she told me that I only liked big breasted latin women.

Her: Is that why I am your real estate agent?

Me: Maybe.

Her: What did you tell her?

Me: I told her that I liked big breasted latin women far more than I like big assed caucasian women.

Her: Does she have a big ass?

Me: I am not sure, I do not know who it was.

Her: You should write a book.

Me: I will take that under consideration.

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